Pants, Pants, Pants...

Posted by Wesley On Wednesday, July 21, 2010 2 comments

Or, as Lady Gaga would put it, Boys... Boys... Boys...
Alright readers... since my last two posts had absolutely nothing to do with weight loss and everything to do with men and their good parts, I thought I'd give you a post with some substance. And I have good news to report! 

At the start of this week, I made a bold decision and decided to pull a pair of size 32 dress pants off the hanger and try them on when getting ready for work. I hadn't worn the pants since 2003, when I was at my skinniest. As I posted on a comment over here (great blog!), there was a point in time when I went through my closet and violently created a pile of clothes to throw away. Every single piece was from back in my skinny days, when I was able to wear small-sized shirts, small-sized underwear, and small-sized pants. It was a small-sized party... and frumpy, that bitch, wasn't invited. 

At the time, I was thinking to myself "I'm never going to fit into these damn things again, so why keep them around... I might as well toss them out with the... hey, is that a mini snickers over there?" This is when my diet consisted of entire boxes of macaroni and cheese for lunch, cheese pizza, triple whoppers, thousands upon thousands of  french fries, gravy-drenched chicken fried steak, half-bag dinners of tortilla chips and queso, butter and green beans (my "healthy snack"), Snickers ice cream bars for desert, and cookies and sugar-slathered granola bars for snacks at work. My diet was a total joke, and at the time... I didn't care. I was ready to remove every item and memory from the "good ol' days" and continue on with eating like a total piglet. "After all", I told myself, "I had only gained a few pounds and was still able to hide behind the baggy comfort of the hoodies I wore". Only a few pounds, my ass (literally).

Later that night, after I had finished a dinner of Hamburger Helper and Pasta-Roni, I picked every piece of clothing up from the floor and hung them back up. I had no idea why I was doing it, or for what reason. I had no intention of wearing them again. EVER. The reason, most likely, was because I was thinking about how incredibly awful and demanding it would be to pack them into plastic bags and haul them, and my fat ass, out to the dumpster.

Either way, it was a damn good thing I kept them around. Because when I slipped my cute little gay ass into a size 32 on Monday morning, and was able to buckle them shut, I felt like a million dollars. I said to myself, outloud, "Go girl..." Literally. I had a 100% super-ultra-mega-gay moment. It was the best and most productive day I've ever had at work.

You guys and gals... I cannot even begin to express how excited I was, and have been, to slip those pants on every morning. It feels... so good. They're a little snug, but they fit. THEY. FIT. I really feel like I am on my way back to the good 'ol days of being comfortable in the clothes I wear and not limited on what I can try on.

With this in mind friends, keep your focus on losing weight and getting in shape. The most simple rewards can be the most, well... rewarding. For me, this moment represents the best I've felt since choosing to put better things in my body. Keep up the great work, because you all know you're doing great!

AND, I hope this story is inspirational to each and every one of you, because that's it's intent. I also hope you all are having a fantastic week full of healthy eating, wonderful workouts, and incredible amounts of unbelievable sex with multiple partners who you hardly know (but totally trust).

Air hug! (and tomorrow a celery stick with extra crunchy peanut butter).


~ugly girl with a beautiful heart~ said...

You said go girl to yourself...Wes I think I'm in love with you. But don't tell hubby ok cuz he might get a little jealous! hehe

See I don't have this kind of awesomeness, honestly I'm pretty sure I'm the smallest I've been since...oh junior high? So it was wicked sweet to fit into jeans that I'd wore in high school, but I think now I need to find a pair of "goal" pants. Get a pair in a size down, then two sizes, then three, etc. Then I'll be able to feel as go girlish as you!

PS: Congrats on fitting into the "skinny" pants!

Denise + Nick said...

Oh-Em-Gee! The last paragraph of this post if frikkin' hilarious! Congrats on fitting into your skinny pants! So exciting! Another fun thing to do (besides have sex with multiple partners you barely know after several stiff cocktails) is save a pair of pants from when you were at your heaviest and try them on intermittently to see your progress. I did this and it is totally gratifying and you can really see how far you’ve come! I only allowed myself to keep one item from my fatty wardrobe, which was this one pair of pants. Everything else I said buh-bye to as soon as it didn’t fit!