Waiting for Winter

Posted by Wesley On Thursday, August 26, 2010 2 comments

Hey Readers! Hope is all well and skinny in your world!

I'm so excited for winter to arrive (for once in my life), because it's when I'm going to hit the gym hardcore, and do some major cardio and weight-lifting. As you may all remember, I decided to focus on weight loss over the summer, since there were too many tempting distractions during the summer months (i.e. BBQ's, bar-hopping, vacations, and visiting friends) that I knew would interfere with my ability to stick to any sort of workout plan.

I'm contemplating getting back together with my old personal trainer as well, and having him kick my ass in the gym-o-riffic. He's quite the cutie patootie: 


And totally straight. And the person responsible for this. Talk about motivating! You need to visit the Genesis Health and Fitness website right now and read about what he, and his entire crew, are about. Then, you need to sign up for the program. They're all good people and have changed the lives of so many men and women, and in such a positive way. The team at Genesis and Health and Fitness truly are about serious health and well-being.

Anyway... back to me:

I need to find some intense workouts for the winter. I've been researching them online, and have found nothing. Zero. Zilch. Zippo. NADA! And that's no me gusta! And a huge problemo.

Who's got some good workout tips? Tell me readers... what do you do at the gym, and how often do you do it?

I Suck at Life

Posted by Wesley On Sunday, August 22, 2010 4 comments

And for several reasons:

1. I haven't updated you all since the 11th. Yeah... that's nine days. Almost a week and a half.
2. Last Tuesday, I ate chicken nuggets and french fries for dinner.
3. On Wednesday, I had more french fries and an entire hamburger for lunch.
4. On Thursday, I ate pizza and bread sticks for dinner. And had like... nine beers. ON A THURSDAY. 
5. And then, since being bloated and having heartburn weren't enough, I PIGGED... THE EFF... OUT at Taco Bell last night.

I feel like a fallen soldier. Good Lord! AMAZINGLY, this morning I weighed in at 166.6... three pounds less than my last weigh-in on the first of August, which was an even 169. And what's with the triple sixes!? Someone is trying to tell me something! Don't ask me how I managed to accomplish 166.6, because I have no idea. And, I'm not holding my breath, either. I'm sure I'll see ALL those meals packed on later next week some time.

I do want to apologize for the lack of updates, though. It's been such a crazy week at work, and I've been so stressed, that I've done everything I can to avoid having to look at a computer screen. I've been using that lump three feet above my ass (thank you, A League of Their Own) to do nothing but watch TV and veg my chubby little face on the couch. I'm proud to announce that today... I officially feel like crap. Like a bloated walrus ready to give birth. Like a lounge singer, straining to get her voice to reach the man in the back corner of the bar. Like the way I felt when I first started this whole journey. And I hate it. 

Lesson learned. And I'm going to start following Denise and Nick's advice. I'm starting a little notebook that documents how I feel after eating badly. In fact, I think I'll post it here for you all to see. That way, I'm not only accountable to myself, but to you all, as well. I'll title them... "Food Hangover". Because that's exactly what they are! Let me tell you about this morning, and my first Food Hangover:

This morning involved a very bloated belly, which I looked at with disgust and regret. I looked almost prego, and my belly was hard to the touch. "Ugh...!" I thought to myself, as I rolled the blankets back over myself so I didn't have to look at it. I fell back asleep for about an hour... and woke up with some really, really bad heartburn. "You're an idiot, Wes." I tell myself. I roll myself out of bed, put on my shorts, and buckle my belt a little bit looser. "That's familiar" I say out loud. Rolling my eyes, I head off to the bathroom, whip Jr. out, and as I look down, I really see the damage. I was so bloated, the bottom of my shirt didn't even touch the waste line of my pants (as it usually does). I rolled my eyes again, rubbed them, moaned, flushed the toilet, grabbed four Tums, and headed out into the living room. I sat down, and since I was so bloated, had to unbuckle my belt and lay back to relieve the pressure on my mid-section. I chowed down on the Tums to get rid of my heart burn, and just sat there... for an entire half an hour. I was thinking about why in the hell I let myself get so out of control the night before and the days before that: "What was it that caused me to skew off my path?" "Why did I even think it would be OK to go overboard by so much?" "Where did eat I that gave me no option for eating right?" "Who forced these items down my throat and who was I hanging out with?" "When did I decide that I felt good enough to eat as I did?"

I came to one simple conclusion: there was no who. No what. No when. No where. And definitely no why. It was me. ALL ME. I let me do this to myself. Because, there was no place, no person, no reason, and no point in which I felt good enough to be bad. I did this to myself, and I deserved every inch of the way I felt.

I stood up, rubbed my eyes again, and said to myself "this is a new day... and you're going to get back on track and stick to it, you homo. Just like you have for the past two months. Don't fall off again, like you usually do. You promised yourself... and everyone reading your blog, as well. You now have more than just yourself to answer to. And Jenn's going to be PISSED when she hears about this."

I then undressed, got in the shower, scrubbed myself squeaky clean, dried off, got dressed, and headed out the door with my bloated belly on a mission for a low-carb lunch salad, grilled chicken patty, and diet soda. And, of which, I was able to accomplish at Buffalo Wild Wings... and I owe that to all of you. Cause had all of you not been commenting and holding me accountable, I would have woken up and said "Well... that's that. I'm all fat and bloated now. Might as well go get 907 pancakes and 47 sides of hashbrowns and call it a day! Oh, I need 18 tubs of extra buttery-flavored syrup too!"

So I thank you, my readers, for following, reading, and commenting. It keeps me in check, and in this case, gets my ass back on track.

Here's to getting back in the game... and here's to you! Muah!

Jesse's Fabulous Sunday Salad

Posted by Wesley On Wednesday, August 11, 2010 1 comments

Hey everyone! I wanted to share with you a salad that Jesse made at my house on Sunday. It was incredibly simple:

Lettuce (in a salad... no way!)
Radishes 
Mushrooms
Sprouts
Low Fat Balsamic Dressing
... and SUPER DELICIOUS. I couldn't believe how good this was. And I hate mushrooms and radishes. And Balsamic. Don't ask me why, but for whatever reason the combination of these items made this salad awesome and irresistible. He gave me a taste and I almost beat him up so I could steal the bowl and eat the rest. But that would have left him with nothing to eat, and that would have been very unbecoming of a lady. 

Enjoy!


Inspiration Eye Candy

Posted by Wesley On 2 comments

Good one this week readers! Here's Art, an all-American 8-Pack. Photographed by Greg Vaughan:

Short and Sweet

Posted by Wesley On 1 comments

Yes, readers. I am short. And sweet. ;-) 

Just a quick update from the Denver homo. Sorry I haven't blogged much over the past week. Not much has been going on in my world... except for the fact that I'm up to 169.2 pounds. Bleh! It was those DAMN FRIES! Ugh... I'm PISSED! That's ok. It's only two pounds, right? That'll come off faster than my pants when standing next to Jason Ritter. What sucks is it seems those pounds just can't come off fast enough, agreed?

Anyway, with the extra weight gain I'm really focusing hardcore on my eating and trying to drink tons of water. It feels like it's helping, but I definitely haven't woken up for a while with that "super-fabulous-skinny" feeling. I'm hoping it'll come back before the weekend, when the ExHotGirl arrives for a whole week! I'm so excited I could just spit. 

How is everyone doing on their eating and exercising plans? Has the thought of fall and winter arriving (and the baggy clothes that go along with it!) made anyone tempted to slip up and eat an entire birthday cake, a bucket of Miracle Whip, or down three boxes of Cheez-Its? Because I had a dream about doing all of that just the other night. Not really, but I'm still trying to figure out if it would be classified as a regular dream or one of those fancy wet dreams. Hmmm... 

So that's the latest from me! And in the words of Jermaine Stewart: We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off... to Have a Good Time.

Comment and let me know what's new with ya!

I Screwed Up

Posted by Wesley On Sunday, August 8, 2010 1 comments

Well, sort of. On Friday, my boss and I went out to lunch at Red Robin® together. It was a beautiful day, I was feelin' skinny, and was in a great mood. For the time being, anyway. 

As we entered the restaurant, all I could smell was yummy sesame seed buns and french fries. You know... those two things that are 100% forbidden on my eating plan. The two things I miss the most. The two things that make me act like Roger Rabbit after a shot of whiskey.

Anyway, we sat down and I started looking over the menu chock full of deep-fried chicken fingers, nachos, onion rings, french-fries-with-everything entrees, and deep-fried chicken burgers. It was awful. But, I decided to be a good boy despite how skinny and wonderful I was feeling. I ended up ordering just a regular hamburger, protein style, on a plate, with no tomato and no cheese. I was like "yeah... go Wes. Even though the waitress thinks you're a freak for eating a hamburger without the bun, it doesn't matter. In fact, if she wanted a good tip, she would have said 'oh my god... i love my burgers like that!', but she didn't. So eff her!"

Anyway, my boss ordered her little BBQ Grilled Chicken wrap thingy and an iced tea. "Not bad..." I think to myself. "I can deal with watching her stuff her mouth hole with that. Suh-weet-ah". And then she went and did it. She ordered a basket of fries as an appetizer.

"Bitch." I think to myself. 

I turned my head to the waitress, in hopes that she would be responding with a "Oh, I'm sorry. We're out of french fries today. Would you like some lettuce to chew on?" But no. The only thing that comes out of her mouth is "absolutely!". 

"Bitch. No tip." I think to myself.

I stare down at my Diet Coke. I take a sip and slunch back in my chair. I know it's over. I was already thinking of being bad when we were on our way to the restaurant. And, even though I ordered properly and totally well, I knew that a basket of fries to start with was going to send me over the edge. Just the thought of watching my boss dip those huge, golden, crunchy french fries in ranch dressing and put them in her mouth (where her taste buds are!), was killing me. And, it was at that point, I realized I had royally screwed up. I forgot to tell the waitress to sub my fries for a side salad. And so, at that point, I realized it was totally over. French fries in my face before and during the meal!? It. Was. Over. 

The basket of fries arrives. I pick around for the small ones. "One or two won't hurt" I keep telling myself. And then, when all the small ones were gone, I started on the medium ones. And then when those were all gone, I started with all the big ones (which, in other circumstances, I usually go for anyway). Before I know it, the basket was empty. And my boss, who ordered the damn thing to being with, ended up getting four, FOUR, fries out of the whole basket. 

AND THEN, our food arrives. I have a burger wrapped in lettuce with fries on the side. "This looks effing retarded" I think to myself. "People are looking at me thinking 'Apparently, that dude thinks that subtracting the bun from the equation totally makes the fries okay. Loser.'" So, I pick up my hamburger and chow... the eff... down. I devour this thing faster than anything in the world, hoping it will fill me up enough to not want the fries.

Yeah... right. What was I thinking? I ate every single fry on my plate, and, had a bite of my boss' wrap.

It wasn't until about thirty minutes after lunch that I really felt the effects of my french fry feast. I felt awful. I was bloated. Actually... I was totally bloated, was contemplating unbuttoning my pants, and was sitting in my office chair in total regret. I hated myself for allowing myself to lose control like I did. I totally went overboard and, for whatever reason, couldn't just be satisfied with one or two bites off the french fry train.

I dealt with the bloating for all of Friday, all of Saturday, and finally, FINALLY, today the bloating is gone. I feel like I'm back at where I started on Friday morning, which sucks. I'm right back where I started over two days ago. Bleh! And, while I feel comfortable, again, being able to wear shirts and pants without having to suck it in too much, I am pissed that I had to go through over 48-hours of not feeling so utterly great. It wasn't worth it. And will never be worth it.

And now, I'm happy to report, my wonderful friends and readers, that I've learned my lesson. If I'm going to be a bad boy, I'm only going to do it for hot, muscled men with deep commanding voices. Not for french fries. Not for Snickers. Not for hash browns. And definitely not for cookie dough!

Going forward, French Fries = No Megusta.

And, also going forward, Paul Walker is perfect. And needs to be the father of my children. And needs to be naked in my bed. Right now. 

But that'll never happen, so instead... here's this:

Enjoy... and thanks for reading!

KFC and A&W

Posted by Wesley On Wednesday, August 4, 2010 2 comments

I've decided these bastards are the enemy, people. The absolute enemy. If there is any fast food joint that should be attacked for providing the most fattening, unhealthy food to the people of this world, it's the KFC and A&W joints littered across America.

Here's the sad, sad story:

Desperate and hungry, my best friend Jesse and I decided to cruise through a KFC/A&W joint located off the beaten path out in BFE. I said "Dude... KFC offers grilled chicken now. We could totally find something there to eat. Just stay away from the cheese-curds, mKay?"

We pulled up to the ordering menu window thingy and spent, at least, five minutes reviewing the menu looking for salads, grilled chicken sandwiches, moderately healthy side dishes, and the like. After a car pulled up behind us, we told the wonderfully understanding and patient drive-through (not drive-thru) attendant that we weren't sure what we wanted, that we were going to circle around, let the car behind us go first, and then order the second time around. "OK... see you soon!" she said. 

We drove around the joint, not speaking a word to each other, most likely because we were in shock, and returned, again, to the ordering menu. After another few minutes, Jesse asks "I'm... I'm sorry. Where are your salads on the menu?"

"Oh... they took the salads off a little while back." the attendant, who'll we'll call Alissa, responds.

"Oh...", we both respond in unison and a little bit of harmony... choir girls! 

"Well," says Jesse, "I'm sorry, but, what is the healthiest thing on your menu then?"

"Well, the grilled Doublicious is most likely the healthiest item on the menu..."

Both of us look at the picture on the menu. It's an original, deep-fried chicken patty slathered with Colonel's sauce, Monterrey Jack cheese, bacon, and honey mustard dressing... all slapped between two Hawaiian rolls. 470 calories, with 23 grams of fat. The grilled version is 360 calories and 11 grams of fat (still, not that fabulous). But here we were, staring at a picture of a delicious, deep-fried chicken patty with a ton of cheese and, oh... my... god... bacon, cheese, creamy sauces, and... (for me)... a bun.

We both panic, I pull out a knife and attempt to stab myself in the face. Jesse (thank god for him) pulls the knife out of my hand and yells "You're doing it wrong!". He slams it into my jugular.

Just kidding. That last part didn't happen. We both actually did the same thing as the first time we drove up... we stared at the menu in confusion, indecision, and frustration. 

Finally, we both realized there was NOTHING on this damn menu we could order and actually feel good about eating. But we sucked it up and went for it. We both ordered the grilled Doublicious. And out of the nine... NINE side items on their "sides menu", there were two "healthy" sides. Corn on the cob (which is slathered in butter) or green beans (which is swimming in butter). We both order the green beans.

On the way back to the house, Jesse freaks out about the sandwich. And he goes on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on about it. And on about it. And then about it some more. And then on about it a little bit more. And then, yes you guessed it... on about it.

I tell him "Jesse, you ordered the most healthy, available thing on the menu. We both did. Take the bacon off, scrape off the dressing, and your calorie content will drop by quite a bit...". He was happy with that response. 

We ate our dinner. The chicken patty was slathered in grease. The green beans were disgusting (although... Jesse liked them. Him and I have never had agreeing tastes. He likes an arugula salad with grilled duck, cilantro-mango dressing and roasted almonds and I like... steak and potatoes). Either way, the meal was less that satisfying. Actually, it sucked. The food sucked, and so did the customer service. 
I'm gunna reference this. And, I know, the ExHotGirl, will most likely not like that reference, but I have to say it again, I feel Mickey D's has been the most proactive and responsible fast food provider in offering healthier options for it's consumers. KFC and A&W, which is owned and operated by Yum! Brands (also Taco Bell and Pizza Hut), need to get a clue, grab a nutrition menu, and seriously review the content in the content they provide.

Fatty, carbohydrate-laden foods are a thing of the past, friends! We're healthy reader-eaters. We're about convenient, fast, healthy foods. And the first fast-food joint to offer that is the winner. 
McDonald's is first in the running. Any of you want to challenge that?

Comment!

Today was a PHENOMENAL Day!!

Posted by Wesley On 1 comments

PHENOMENAL, PHENOMENAL, PHENOMENAL, PHENOMENAL! Readers... some good news from the GayWeigh: 

1) In a 136-page ruling, Judge Vaughn Walker has declared Proposition 8, the measure banning same-sex marriage in California, unconstitutional under both the due-process and equal-protection clauses:
Proposition 8 fails to advance any rational basis in singling out gay men and lesbians for denial of a marriage license. Indeed, the evidence shows Proposition 8 does nothing more than enshrine in the California Constitution the notion that opposite- sex couples are superior to same-sex couples. BecPlaintiffs have demonstrated by overwhelming evidence that Proposition 8 violates their due process and equal protection rights and that they will continue to suffer these constitutional violations until state officials cease enforcement of Proposition 8. California is able to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, as it has already issued 18,000 marriage licenses to same- sex couples and has not suffered any demonstrated harm as a result, see FF 64-66; moreover, California officials have chosen not to defend Proposition 8 in these proceedings." “Because Proposition 8 is unconstitutional under both the Due Process and Equal Protection Clauses, the court orders entry of judgment permanently enjoining its enforcement; prohibiting the official defendants from applying or enforcing Proposition 8 and directing the official defendants that all persons under their control or supervision shall not apply or enforce Proposition 8.ause California has no interest in discriminating against gay men and lesbians, and because Proposition 8 prevents California from fulfilling its constitutional obligation to provide marriages on an equal basis, the court concludes that Proposition 8 is unconstitutional.
Woot, freakin' woot! One our nations most-heavily populated states has finally ruled IN FAVOR of same-sex marriage... as it should be! You can read reactions to the rulings, from both sides of the issue, here.

2) Today, I hit 168 pounds on the scale! You know what that means... I get this fancy little sucker:

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That's right all my skinny bitches! Yahoo! It's a party in my skinny pants, and you're all invited. ;-)

3) Today, the day when Rent is considered late at work and late fees are fired onto ledgers faster than you can say "I forgot my most important bill of the month!", I decided to make delivering my "You're rent is late and now your kinda screwed" letters a little more fun by counting how many stairs I climbed up and down while schleping my ass around my three-acre community in 90-degree heat. It's pretty interesting how 3/4 of my late-payers and rubber-check-writing residents are ALWAYS on the third floors. Hmmmm...

So how many stairs did I climb in an hour and half? 307. How out of breath was I? You mean, how NOT out of breath was I! How sweaty was my bodess? Let's just say I showered, changed clothes, cologned, and reapplied the deodorant afterwards. But the most important things is... how did I feel when I sat back in my chair at work? The answer to that is GREAT! Sewper Dewper Ultra Fabulous! Like I was sitting in a giant pool of Josh Duhamel. Like I was sipping on a tall, ultra-chilled glass of Cooler than the World. Like I was driving down Lady Gaga Blvd at 100 MPH (wearing my seatbelt, of course) while listening to "Emotions" by Mariah Carey.

I. Felt. Great.

By no means, however, was this a workout... but it's the first time I've ever returned to work feeling better than I did before delivering my nasty-grams. It's incredible what better eating can do for you...
Please Note: I do not actually enjoy delivering nasty, legal notices to people I barely know that demand money or the keys to their home. But it's my job. And the reason I get a "Thank you!" letter every two weeks in the mail. The exercise is great. The "aftermath", well... can get messy.
 
4) I found twenty bucks in a pair of shorts before doing laundry! TWENTY DOLLARS! That's a week's worth of Cold Stone Ice Cream with extra cookie dough! I mean... crap, I'm sorry... two week's of delicious salads from Sweet Tomatoes.

5) I got laundry done!

6) Today was President Obama's Birthday! Did you sign his birthday card? I did. My message:
Happy Birthday Mr. President! You're doing a wonderful job managing this wonderful country ours!

I hate to litter your birthday card with all that boring politic stuff, but please make repealing DOMA and DADT a strong focus during your "new year". We all need your help in providing equal rights for everyone.

I hope your birthday was incredibly fantastic! And,  don't worry about forgetting my name on the invite list this year. I was only mildly offended.

Hugs, High Fives, and a bottle of your favorite beer,

- Wesley
7) I called my friend and cowoker today, and he sounds better than ever. He answered the phone with such zealous, I almost cried (gah ahead... call me a total homo. I know you want to). He's been moved to a rehab center about 15 miles north (closer to me!) and is doing great at his rehab thang. Go buddy.

8) I just found out Lakewood (MY hood) is getting a chick-fil-a! CHICK-FIN-ALLY.

Friends, despite spending 11 hours at work yesterday, and 12 today... August 4th, 2010 managed to be one of the most productive, wonderful, exciting, and rewarding days I've experienced in quite a long time. I like to think these things happen because of my new, better outlook on life. That I've manifested these good-haps on a ground more powerful than just material items and hopes and dreams; but rather a true belief in the good things to come. I'm very excited to see what's going to come next! I'm just hoping it will be Hugh Jackman in some amateur home video.

OK. Totally inappropriate.

How are all of you doing!?

Three Flights and a Small Studio

Posted by Wesley On Monday, August 2, 2010 2 comments

So tonight my friend Jesse and I were on our way to get some grilled chicken salads (yum!!), and I started talking with him about this guy I met on Sunday evening through another friend. He was a pretty heavy guy, probably about 310 to 320 pounds, a red head, dressed in Prada sunglasses, and was wearing some fancy flip flops with linen pants. As I was describing him to Jesse, I told him that I could not help but think of him when I met this fellow. It was like I was staring at a version of Jesse from when I first met him through Jenn, before he had lost almost 100 pounds. The resemblance was pretty uncanny. And I told Jesse "I was looking at him, thinking 'this is where Jesse used to be. He's lost so much weight!'"

After meeting this gentleman, I stood by on the sidelines and listened to him complain to Chris about the new apartment he had just moved into. He was upset because he had been shown a unit that was leased, but was told the studio he would be getting would be exactly the same. Obviously, that wasn't the case. He told Chris the apartment didn't have an air conditioning unit, was on the third floor, not the first and with no elevator, that the closet was about half the size of the one he saw, and that the doorways weren't as wide. He said he could barely squeeze into the kitchen and that he had no room to turn around in his closet.

I told Jesse that last list item hit me in the face like a ton of ice cream trucks. That I walk around too much not thinking about the things heavier people have to account for in their lives. I asked him "wouldn't things like that really motivate you to lose the weight?" And he responded, making a very good point:

"The thing that people don't understand Wes, is that when you're that heavy, doing anything is difficult. Walking up stairs is hard. Getting in and out of a vehicle is hard. Just walking to the mailbox is a chore. And people stand around and look at us and say 'why don't you just get on a treadmill and walk or run?' and it's like 'you expect me, a person who breaks a sweat just walking into work, to get on a treadmill and walk 5 miles per hour? You're crazy'". 

And, that's true. I guess I've never really realized how difficult general life duties can be for someone who is really heavy. And I feel like a total nard face for never realizing it. I can relate to things being a bit more difficult, as I think back to my heaviest days. But I can't relate on a scale that's even close to what Jesse described to me. Things that were more difficult for me were trying to fit into pants, finding clothes baggy enough to hide my belly, and mustering up the energy to walk from the couch to my fridge. For him, it was walking up the stairs in his house and getting out of his car.

I think in the long run, for the gentleman I met on Sunday, it's going to be a good thing he has to walk up three flights of stairs to get to his home. And I have no idea if he is taking any steps to become healthier. I don't know what his day-to-day routine is. But I do know this: the steps he's taking every day to get home are going to help him, hopefully, one day realize that losing weight may not be as hard as it seems. That one day he'll wake up and say "I walk up and down three flights of stairs three to four times a day. If I can do that, then I should be able to walk to work. And if I can do that, then I should be able to spend ten minutes on a bike at the gym. And if I can do that, then I'll be able to walk on the the treadmill for 15 minutes. And if I can do that, then I'll be able to spend a good amount of time on a stair stepper. And if I can do that, then I'll be able to jog on the treadmill for 20 minutes. And if I can do that, then I'll be able to run up the stairs at my apartment complex. And then if I can do that, I'll be able to bike to work everyday. And if I can do that, then I'll be able to mix in some weight training at the gym with my cardio workout. And if I can do that, then I'll be able to..." and before he knows it, he'll look in the mirror and see a skinner, healthier, more energetic him. And from there... take it to a level that's more extreme than anything he's ever done, and continue down the road he's already begun to travel, but at a much faster pace.

Inspiration Eye Candy

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The Day I Decided To Be a Loser

Posted by Wesley On Sunday, August 1, 2010 1 comments

I love it when people call me a loser. Because when they do, it gives me the opportunity to turn around and say "yeah, bitch. I am... A total, undeniable loser. That's what I am."
 
I remember the day the day I decided to be a loser. It was a Tuesday morning and I was staring at my naked body in the mirror (not fun). Even though I was late for work, as usual, I stood there looking at  myself  thinking "it's no wonder that dude sent me home", "it's no wonder I wear baggy clothes that hide how I really look", "THIS is why I can't wear half of the clothes in my closet", "Jesus Christ... I need to trim!".

It was in the shower that I decided it was time to make a change. That I was tired of "sucking it in" and pretending to be the skinny boy I used to be. That I was tired of the heartburn (Tums are going to save the world!), the constant stomach aches, and the feeling of being bloated and incredibly full. I was done, done, done, done. And done.

It was that day, that one day, that will be burned in my brain forever. And I'll never forget it... because it was the most productive day I've ever had at work, the one day when I walked around the Earth breathing as easy as Whitney hits those high notes, and the one day when I felt more like the beauty than the beast. It was an incredible feeling. It was almost as if I had been bitten by a Mr. Edward Cullen and reborn (you all know you'd like that bite... don't lie).

And here I am, months later... wearing clothes I haven't been able to fit into for years (the corset is faaabulous), hitting up the bars with more confidence than ever (still haven't gotten laid), taking chances, and fitting into pants that have been collecting dust for years upon years in my closet.

Friends... there's nothing out there that could take these feelings from me. It's so wonderful being lighter than ever. So wonderful fitting back into the clothes I've kept around from my skinny days. So wonderful having confidence back. So wonderful looking at my naked self in the mirror and seeing the lovely progress of my labor. So wonderful to feel back in the game. 
 
And once again... so wonderful being a total loser.

Follow Up

Posted by Wesley On 0 comments

Hey friends! Hope all is skinny and well. =) 

I know I don't seem like the type of fag to follow up on previous posts, but sorry pumpkins... I totally am. I gotta make sure you're all doing exceptionally well and know that you are all appreciated and lurrrrrrved! And with that in mind:

1) How many times, or how many people, have you reminded to buckle up or wear a helmet this week?

2) How many of you have adjusted your shopping habits based upon this post and the ExHotGirl's advice on cruising for food around the perimeter of the grocery store?

3)  How many of you ordered a Betty White hoodie?

4) The ExHotGirl was the only person to participate in Healthy Words With Friends. I was totally stoked that she was up for challenge, but totally bummed that nobody else joined. C'mon readers... get with it!

Apple Bottom Jeans... Boots With The Furrrrrrr

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Dude... If the picture to your left, as taken by yours truly, isn't inspiration enough to go crazy on the squats, I don't know what is! Click to embiggen!

Seatbelts and Helmets... An Update

Posted by Wesley On 1 comments

Hi friends and readers! I want to start out by saying "Thank You!" for all the wonderful, supportive comments on my last post. It's very exciting and inspiring to see so many of my friends and readers understand where I was coming from, and sympathize with my friend's situation. THANK YOU all for keeping him in your thoughts. It has truly helped, and I'm very happy to report some good news. My friend is doing incredibly well:

1) Over the past week, despite the brand-new titanium rod running from his hip down to his ankle, he has managed to "walk" around his room, sit in a chair, and return back to his hospital bed without incident. 

2) Just yesterday, his doctor removed him from 24-hour monitoring and approved the tube in his chest to be removed, which was there for his collapsed lung.

3) He got a bath... well, a sponge bath... which made him totally happy and much, much more content with laying around in his hospital bed. 

4) He is awake and very responsive. He finally knows what happend, what's happening, and what's going to happen. It's a miracle he has no brain trauma.

So, hip hip hooray on his recovery! I saw him on Friday, and his state of being was very encouraging and inspiring. He's doing very, very well. It looks like the $70.00 worth of junk food I bought him was worth it.
Thanks again, everyone, for keeping this wonderful man in your thoughts. He is recovering at an incredible rate, and I like to think it's because you and I have been so strong for him. Muah!
 
P.S.: Don't forget you bitches... seat belts and helmets!