I love it when people call me a loser. Because when they do, it gives me the opportunity to turn around and say "yeah, bitch. I am... A total, undeniable loser. That's what I am."
I remember the day the day I decided to be a loser. It was a Tuesday morning and I was staring at my naked body in the mirror (not fun). Even though I was late for work, as usual, I stood there looking at myself thinking "it's no wonder that dude sent me home", "it's no wonder I wear baggy clothes that hide how I really look", "THIS is why I can't wear half of the clothes in my closet", "Jesus Christ... I need to trim!".
It was in the shower that I decided it was time to make a change. That I was tired of "sucking it in" and pretending to be the skinny boy I used to be. That I was tired of the heartburn (Tums are going to save the world!), the constant stomach aches, and the feeling of being bloated and incredibly full. I was done, done, done, done. And done.
It was that day, that one day, that will be burned in my brain forever. And I'll never forget it... because it was the most productive day I've ever had at work, the one day when I walked around the Earth breathing as easy as Whitney hits those high notes, and the one day when I felt more like the beauty than the beast. It was an incredible feeling. It was almost as if I had been bitten by a Mr. Edward Cullen and reborn (you all know you'd like that bite... don't lie).
And here I am, months later... wearing clothes I haven't been able to fit into for years (the corset is faaabulous), hitting up the bars with more confidence than ever (still haven't gotten laid), taking chances, and fitting into pants that have been collecting dust for years upon years in my closet.
Friends... there's nothing out there that could take these feelings from me. It's so wonderful being lighter than ever. So wonderful fitting back into the clothes I've kept around from my skinny days. So wonderful having confidence back. So wonderful looking at my naked self in the mirror and seeing the lovely progress of my labor. So wonderful to feel back in the game.
And once again... so wonderful being a total loser.