Gay Weigh - Gay Fitness Blog

Shopping Trip!

2010-09-26T19:34:00.000-07:00

Let's go spend all our money!

Well, actually not friends. The plan was to go shopping for good, healthy food after I got paid, but that never happened with my stupid, busy schedule. I've had a little time to plan, but haven't gotten my full shopping list put together just yet. BUT, I do have a fun story for you all from today when I went shopping with my friend Jesse.

He was doing some pretty major shopping, and I was just sort of along for the ride. I did need a few important things like toothpaste, paper towels, ice tea, and, ahem... Preparation H.

Just kidding. About the Prep H thing.

Anyway, as we were perusing the store and Jesse was buying up half of the entire store, I decided I needed some Italian Dressing. So I went and got that. Then, as we were walking by the bakery, I had flashbacks from the 1/2 pan brownie incident. I decided that while Jesse was in the frozen food section, I would take just a quick look around the bakery. And, as I was doing what I wasn't supposed to be doing, I ran across this carton of double chocolate M&M brownie cookies. Double Chocolate. M&M. Brownie. Cookies. Everything about that product sounds so not good for me. But totally good for my taste buds. "Mmmmm..." I said to myself. I picked them up and headed to the cart. Midway back, I thought to myself "I don't need these", so I turned around and put them back. And as I headed back to the cart, I thought to myself "you know, Wes. You could buy them and just have like... one a day. That's not so bad". So I flipped my face around and went back and got them. Meanwhile, the INCREDIBLY HOT butcher kept looking at me like "what in the hell is this kid doing? And why does he keep staring at me? Are my piercings out of place or my tattoos spelled wrong or something?" As I headed back with a carton of cookies that I knew I shouldn't have, Jesse looked at me and said "Really, Wes?"

I ignored the comment.

But it gets better.

While we were in the produce department, and Jesse was taking forever to pick out a damn tub of spinach, all I could do was stare at the cookies. I knew I shouldn't get them. But they looked so good! And I was in the middle of a total sugar/carb craving. And on top of that, they were chewy brownie cookies with crunchy M&M pieces. AND double chocolate. "Crap..." I said to myself. I rolled my eyes, picked up the carton, went over to Jesse and said "Jesse... I don't think I'm going to get these."

"OK..." he says. Like "it's your problem, dude. Don't put me in the middle of it. I'm trying to pick out spinach, bitch..."

Dissatisfied with his response, I just looked down at the carton and stood there.

"I have to go back that way, anyway. I forgot something." he says.

Now THERE was the response I was waiting for!

So, after Jesse finally found the spinach he wanted to buy, we made our way back to the bakery (walking by the butcher, AGAIN) and I successfully returned the cookies to their original location. The look on the butchers face was a very confused one. He had no idea what was going on. And neither did I, because somehow I managed to lose Jesse... but find the fresh donuts, located directly behind the cookie stand. You should have seen me in front of those see-through cabinets that housed brown baskets filled with dozens upon dozens of fresh, frosted, glazed, and fruit-filled donuts. I didn't even need to open the cabinet doors to smell them. "Mmmmm", I say again. I turn my head toward the butcher... and it was totally one of those moments when someone who is staring at another person jerks their head away after the person being stared at notices them. It was fabulous. I smirked and went back to donut shopping, with visions of a naked butcher in my head. Apparently, I've been watching too much Dexter.

Anyway, after spending a couple minutes studying the selection, I go to reach for a tissue, and guess what... they were out. Both tissue boxes had nothing to offer. NOTHING DAMNIT! And the signs on the cabinet doors clearly state "PLEASE USE A TISSUE WHEN SELECTING YOUR ITEMS. THANK YOU, MANAGEMENT"

"This is a sign..." I say to myself. "I don't need to be here. I shouldn't be here. I'm leaving." So I walk away and catch up with Jesse.

"Did you get your cookies put away OK, purrrrmkin?" He says.

"Yes." I respond

"Well, that took a little while. I'm almost done with my shopping. Yay!" He says as he places an $11.00 bag of bite size chocolate bars in his basket.

"Yeah, I got held up in the donut department. I almost got one but they were out of tissue..."

"Oh..." he responds.

So, we finish our shopping trip and make it to the register. There's one lady in front of us with a considerable amount of crap in her basket. And, as you all know, those check out lanes are CHOCK FULL of candy bars and ridiculous gossip magazines. As I'm bitching to Jesse about wanting those damn cookies, I start picking up candy bars and reading the nutritional information.

54g Carbohydrates. 48g Carbohydrates. 83g Carbohydrates. 44g Carbohydrates. 49g Carbohydrates. And then, finally, I find one that I'm willing to give into. A Skore bar with 35g Carbohydrates. I gently place it on top of my toothpaste and look over at Jesse. He looks at me, purses his lips, and goes back to flipping through his magazine.

"Will you split this with me?" I ask.

"No." He responds.

"Please?" I ask.

"No." He says again.

I rolled my eyes, took the Skore bar out of the basket, placed it back on the candy rack, went to the produce section and picked up some cauliflower and dill veggie dip (which I'm really excited about!), and returned to our place in line.

Then, when we arrived back to my house, I unloaded my purchases, ripped into my back of cauliflower, tore the seal off my dill veggie dip, slathered a piece of cauliflower in it, took a bite, and... smiled.

Was it the most delicious thing I've ever eaten? Probably not... but it tasted much better than a six inch toffee bar covered in chocolate, 8 cookies with M&M pieces, or a donut soaked in frosting and sprinkles.

It's these moments that make me remember what it's like to feel good about myself. And I just wanted to share it with all of you =)

I hope all is well with everyone. And don't forget, butchers have two purposes in this world:

1. To make you feel guilty whenever shopping in the bakery and

2. To deliver just the right size of meat to satisfy your needs. Even tube steak.

Love ya!

Recounting the Past

2010-09-19T21:51:00.000-07:00

Recently, I was going through bills for three old credit cards back from 2001, 2002, and 2003. Yes, it's been that long since I've cleared out my filing cabinet, but my parents told me to keep everything for at least eight years. They always told me "you never know what can happen during that time!" And I'm a total safety girl... so, naturally I followed their advice. And now, I have a pretty embarrassing admission to make: all three of those credit cards were included in a bankruptcy I filed in 2004. Yes readers, I filed for bankruptcy at the ripe age of 22. TWENTY FREAKING TWO! Stupid me. Stupid, selfish me.

When looking through these bills, I saw something pretty sobering. I realized 3/4 of the charges on each and every bill were from restaurants. Johnny Carinos, Denny's, McDonald's, Red Robin, Chili's, Cheesecake Factory, Arby's, Black Eyed Pea, Bennigans, Burger King, Jackson's, Subway, Wendy's, IHOP, On the Border, Del Taco, Village Inn, Olive Garden, Chick-Fil-A... the list goes on forever. And ever. Pathetically ever.

So, being the giant drama queen that I am, I decided to depress myself even more and add up all the money I had spent on eating out over those three years, just on credit. Here's the credit limit on each of those three cards:

Nordstrom VISA: $5,100.00

Bank One VISA: $5,000.00

Compass VISA: $3,600.00

And here's how much I spent eating out on each card, per year:

2001:

Bank One: $2,476.87 (almost HALF my credit limit)

2002:

Bank One: $983.45

Compass: $1,083.96

2003:

Bank One: $659.05

Compass: $476.45

Nordstrom: $1,984.84

$7664.62 over the course of three years. That's over $2500.00 each year, friends. And really pathetic. NO WONDER I GAINED SO MUCH WEIGHT! I was eating everything in sight. And, oddly enough, Ryan's post about stress eating allowed me to make sense of the incredible amount of money I spent getting myself fat. I was totally stress eating, because during this time, I was sleeping in the ExHotGirl's living room (making her life hell and preventing her from getting a kitty), working my ass off for $11.00 an hour at the shittiest company on earth (Equity Residential), dealing with coming out to my parents, supporting a very needy dog, making an expensive car payment, traveling to a boyfriend in Boulder (almost 60 miles round trip, while gas was almost $4.00 per gallon) twice a week, visiting my family in Colorado Springs (70 miles one way), and trying to make all other ends meet. Nothing screams broke like having to buy toilet paper on credit.

I've since then (well, most recently) realized that eating at home makes it: 1) much easier to eat healthy, 2) much easier on the wallet and 3) incredibly easier to deal with life's craptastic moments when you're at home, in your own space and element, and around the food you trust to be your friend and make you feel good, both inside and out. Because there's nothing like piece of turkey breast with a slice of cheddar cheese to make your day better.

Seriously.

FYI

2010-09-19T21:50:00.000-07:00

Guilty Confession #3

2010-09-19T20:48:00.000-07:00

I'm in love with Puckerman, damnit:

Sunday Plateau Funday... and Something Smells Fishy

2010-09-19T19:05:00.000-07:00

Well, I finally have some time myself friends... and thank god for that! Work has been crazy and, as you can tell from my previous post, more ridiculous than ever! But I'm pushing right on through like the little trooper I am.

**Deep Breath**

So, how've all you been? The comments have slowed down and I haven't heard from some of you in quite a long time. And I figure that's for one or more of four reasons, which are: 1) I've managed to offend you enough that you just don't read the blog anymore, 2) The stuff I'm writing about is just so boring that you want to stab yourself in the left eye with a #2 pencil every time you visit the blog, 3) You're paying me back for not commenting on your blog, or 4) You're tired of listening to me whine and bitch about falling off the wagon and work related stuff.

Either way, it must be known that I don't take offense when I don't get a ton of comments on all my posts. It used to be the thing I based my self-worth on... but now I just pay attention my little stat-counter dealy-bob, which tells me my blog gets plenty of hits every day. And that keeps me happy =)

Alright... on to the purpose of this post. I've hit a plateau! Whoo Hoo!

Now, I know what you're all thinking: "That's not a GOOD thing, WES. You freakin moron!"

I'd like it noted that I cannot believe today is the 19th of September.

I digress. I know hitting a plateau really isn't that great of thing. After all, it means that I've stopped losing weight and have successfully put my body into hibernation mode. In fact, I've gained some weight. I'm above 170 again. But I'm not looking at this as a bad thing. I'm looking at it as an opportunity to wake my body back up and teach it who's boss here.

The first time I ever did low-carb, I lost about 50 pounds over the course of nine-months. And, I've only lost about 10 pounds over the course of two months. I've been teetering between 165 and 169. And today, I reached the 171 mark. And yes, I'm sure that's partially due to the fact that I've fallen off the weight loss train a few times. But even with those setbacks, I should still be able to cut off some weight. I seriously think it's because I've been on and off low carb so many times that my body has finally said to itself "Oh here we go, A-GAIN. Been on this roller coaster once or twice before. Why the hell should I start losing weight when I know this jackass is just going to make me gain it back again? I'm just going to stop burning fat now and save myself the headache of putting it all back on again in another few months."

Well, I've got news for my body. Some changes are on the way! For the past two months, it's been nothing but (OK, well... mostly) turkey, celery and peanut butter, cucumber salads, salads to boot, peanuts, almonds, low-carb tortillas, and copious amounts of diet soda and iced tea. Not bad, but could be a little more involved. You know, a little more food pyramidish. SO, after payday on Friday, and after I manage to rid my house of all the foods I'm used to eating, imma hit up good old King Soopers and stock up on sausage (Italian!), some lean red meat, pork, and (oh my god I can't believe I'm about to say this), fish. Ugh! Generally, I hate fish. The only fish I've really come to like is Arctic Cod. I find it pretty enjoyable when it's deep-fried and slathered in tartar sauce. But since that's not an option, I'm going to try tons of lemon and a bit of butter. I need figure out how to cook it, however. I'm also going to be getting more chicken. Pre-cooked chicken, that is. I'm a freak about cooking chicken. In fact, I can't even cook it, because I burn the living hell out of it. All because I'm so freaked about salmonella poisoning. Either way, it'll be making it's way into my house soon.

Also on the grocery list are plenty of cucumbers, lots of lettuce, a little less diet sodas, cottage cheese, celery, cauliflower (I'm going to start steaming, mashing, and flavoring them, which I'll post on here soon!), sugar-free JELL-O, and absolutely NO MORE LOW CARB TORTILLAS. First of all, they're a rip-off. Second, they make me bloated. Third of all, they're not that good and leave a weird after-taste in my beautiful, curse word ridden mouth. Other stuff that's coming off the list: CarbSmart ice cream bars (I think they're BS), peanut butter, sugar-free jelly, and some frozen meals. I'm also giving up coffee (p'sha... riiiight).

Between now and then, I'm going to research some foods and their carb content and add those to the list, as well. I'll let you all know what I find! I'm looking forward to discovering some new stuff to eat and enjoy.

Hopefully adding some different items to my diet will kick my body back in gear. And in just about a month, it's going to be gym-thirty. And I know that'll definitely shock my body into transformation mode! Oh! You know what!? I should get the Transformers logo tattooed on my forehead. You know, as a hood ordainment? Just like they did in the movies! Then when people are like "dude, why do you have a transformer on your face?" I'll just rip my shirt off, flex and respond with "because I'm a transformer, bitch! Rwwwwwaaaaar!"

Alright, I'm going to stop rambling here. I'm off to read a bunch of weight loss blogs and get super inspired!

Much love (and tomorrow is an effing Monday...)

Wes!

Inspiration Eye Candy

2010-09-19T19:02:00.000-07:00

It Was A Day From Hell. Mercury is in Retrograde. And Brownies Will Ruin My Life.

2010-09-09T22:12:00.000-07:00

Oh. Ehm. Eff. Gee. Today was awful at work readers! I've never had so many fires to put out at once. It was mostly upset residents... most of them with legit reasons to be pissed off. But every now and then, I get that one person who thinks the world is out to ruin their lives:

"Good afternoon, thank you for holding. This is Wes..."

"Wes, this is Miranda from apartment so and so"

"Hey, how's it goi..."

"Wes, you know how you have the landscapers here doing to the grass and blowing the leaves?"

"Yeah..."

"Well there's dust. Dust all over my car now from them blowing the leaves."

**Rolling Eyes**

"OK, well Miranda. I can't do anything about that. Those leaf blowers are going to kick up dust when th..."

"I know that Wes, but you need to control the landscapers. They can't just walk around the property with those things all willy nilly. My car is covered in dust. I mean... COVERED in it."

**Rolling Eyes**

"Miranda, I'm not sure what you want me to do."

"Talk to the damn landscapers! God, isn't that obvious? They're your landscapers! Not mine!"

"And tell them what? That they need to dust off cars after blowing the leaves? That they can't blow dust into the air with their 100MPH leaf blowers?"

"I don't appreciate the sarcasm, Wes."

"Then tell me what you would like me to tell them, Miranda. Because I really am at a loss of wha..."

"You tell them to blow the dust AWAY from the cars."

"Miranda, the landscapers do blow the dust away from cars. But it's impossible to keep the dust that's in the air from blowing around and hitting vehicles. I don't control the wind currents."

"Well, what about rakes? They sell those at Wal-Mart. Go get these people some rakes!"

"Miranda, you try and rake leaves, twigs, pine cones, and pine needles off a 9 acre property and tell me how long it takes you. Give me a break here."

"Well, who's going to come wash my car then!?"

"Nobody from here..."

*Click*

Yes readers. This is my life. Add to the above a resident who was pissed because the cabinets in his apartment didn't match the ones in the model (and actually thought a $200 discount every month was a reasonable request for the mix up), another resident who just assumed he was going to get a carport with his new apartment (even though it was blatantly obvious on his paperwork that that was not the case whatsoever), another resident who was pissed about the lease violation notice he received in regards to the frat-style kegger he had on a TUESDAY night, complete with weed, a live DJ, a puke-a-palooza off his balcony, over 40 people crammed into his two-bedroom apartment, and enough drunk, underage girls to cement a felony charge on his permanent record for life, and finally, one resident who was so effing stupid, that it took me thirty... THIRTY minutes to explain exactly how to call the utility company and change the gas and electric into his name so that we aren't billing him back for it. And on top of all that, dealing with seven new move-ins, a resident who has yet to turn her keys in so we can have enough time to turn her apartment for the new resident arriving on the 15th of this month, a resident who "isn't really sure" when she'll be able to pay rent (but manages to keep her cable on, cruise around the property on her iPhone4, keep her husband's XBox games stocked to the kilt, and take cruises to Ireland), a maintenance supervisor on vacation, a boss who's distraught about her son leaving home to live in AZ, a leasing consultant who's managed to lease one single apartment to three different people, and a corporate office crawling up my ass about reports, reports, reports.

All this... before lunch.

And people wonder why I drink and smoke. Hey-Zeus Christie!

So, today on my lunch break (my twenty-minute lunch break, thank you very much), I ate some pickles and mustard rolled up in some oven-roasted turkey breast, green beans in a little marinara sauce, a diet soda, a few slices of mozzarella, and finished it all off with a brownie... which was the size of my face.

Yeah... I wish I was joking. The size of... muh face.

Comment away readers. I know you're disappointed in my ugly brownie face.

I hate that I succumb to stress-eating. Hate it. I hate stress. I hate eating. I hate brownies. Well, I hate brownies the size of my face. Anyway... this is me falling off the wagon, yet again. B

Tomorrow's another day though, right!? Tomorrow's going to be fabulous! Tomorrow is Friday! I am going to make tomorrow a better day from the start! Like I said before, it's a mind over matter thing. And I don't know why I forgot that today over my lunch break. I think my mind was so clouded with bullshit, that I just threw everything out the window. If I would have just calmed down and not stressed so hard about everything that was going on, I doubt this would have ever happened. Well, actually... had I just thrown the damn brownies out like I wanted to, this definitely wouldn't have happened. But whatever. It happened. I feel crappy for it. It's time to move on.

Like I said, comment the hell out of me. I deserve it.

But, on a more fun note, I'd like to give all my apartment-dwelling readers a 15-point insight into a very big business:

1. When your apartment complex hands out a rent increase at lease-renewal time, it's for three reasons: (i) your community manager is trying to keep her boss and all the other corporate cheese-heads happy by showing them an increase in revenue, (ii) it is the company taking their slice of the market, and (iii) it's because occupancy is good and they can afford to lose you if they're able to re-lease the apartment at a much higher rate. So yes, it's all about the money. People do not own and operate apartment complexes out of the goodness in their heart. They're in this to make money.

2. Contrary to popular belief, a rent increase is NOTHING PERSONAL. Yes... you may pay your rent on time, not cause problems, keep your music down, and follow the rules. But, when it comes down to it, you're doing exactly what you agreed to do when you signed your lease.

3. A rent increase of 20 or 30 dollars is reasonable. If you're happy where you live, take it and move on. It'll cost you a lot more to move. If you can't afford that, you're living beyond your means, and you need to move. A rent increase of 60 or 70 more dollars a month is reasonable, as well... but should be negotiable. Call your leasing office. Anything over 80 dollars means one of two things (or both): your management company is insane or (ii) the community is doing incredibly well with occupancy and rate. They can afford to lose you because they're confident they can re-lease the apartment at the rate they offered you, or higher. Don't take it personal. It's not that they don't like you or think you're a bad resident. They're protecting their investment... and you can't blame anyone for doing that. But, in most cases, it will still cost you more to move.

4. Fill out your move-in report (you know, that piece of paper that asks you to document any existing damage in the apartment on move-in day) and deliver it back to your leasing office with pictures. Ask them to place both in your file. This will save your ass on move-out day if they try to charge for damage that was there when you moved in.

5. Put your damn dog on a leash and PICK UP AFTER IT.

6. So you think you're the shit, huh? Well, calling up to the leasing office screaming, yelling, and barking demands at the management staff will get you one thing: a dial tone. If you're frustrated... a calm, reserved request to have your concerns addressed will get things done much faster and will keep your name from popping up when the management team is bitching to their hubbies about work.

7. Pay your rent... on time. Bookkeepers have heard every story in the book. "My mom is in the hospital...", "I had a family emergency...", "I was on vacation and forgot...", "I didn't realize it had to be in by the 3rd day of the month...", "I was in a car accident...", "My account was hacked into!", "I put the check in the drop box, I don't know why you didn't get it...", "I didn't get my paycheck...", "I'm waiting on a commission check...", "I had a machete go through my foot and was in the emergency room...", "My left nut fell off and rolled into a street drain... I've been chasing it for like... three days...". Now, obviously, there are legit reasons for not being able to get your rent in on time. But don't feed the bookkeeper at your community a load of crap. They'll see right through it. If you're paying late because of your own fault, buck up and pay the late fee. It'll teach you to get it in on time. And if you have a payment arrangement, make good on your promise or your "word" will mean nothing the next time you need some help. P.S.: Any management company that does not waive your first-time late fees as a "one time courtesy" is mean and awful, and you should consider not renewing your lease. Everybody effs up or needs a little help every now and then, am I right?

8. Be reasonable with your requests to the management office. Excessive wind chimes on your neighbor's patio, dust on your car from leaf blowers, and requiring the pool be at 87.6 degrees at all times are not reasonable requests. Think before you ask... and remember, you're living in a community, not a single family home.

9. Things break and go down. Especially things like treadmills, complementary wifi, tanning beds, pools, hot tubs, steam rooms, and projectors in the theater room. Please be understanding. And don't ask for a credit on your next month's rent for these things. They're called amenities for a reason... they're available to you free of charge. Look it up, pumpkins.

10. If you're going to get upset about it taking almost two days to get a light bulb replaced in your apartment, drop the three dollars and go get a four-pack yourself. The maintenance team on your property is trying address higher priority issues... like clogged toilets, leaking pipes, non-working appliances, and no heat or no A/C calls.

11. Because your management team provides treats, it does not mean you can send your children to the leasing office for dinner. Granola bars, soda, and cookies hardly provide them a well-balanced meal.

12. No, your management office is not required to call you when there is a package waiting for your face to come pick it up. That's the job of UPS, FedEx, and USPS. =)

13. There are a few things your management company will not do, because of liability reasons: (1) jump-start your car, (2) hang your flat panel TV, (3) move things around or out of your apartment, (4) provide you with a ladder or any power tool, (5) let you "joy ride" on the golf cart, and (6) allow you to use the clubhouse after hours.

14. We cannot make exceptions for you, but not for anyone else, when it comes to anything. And I mean ANYTHING. There's this little thing we operate under... and that's the Federal Fair Housing Law. That's right... the government controls what we do (but what else is new?).

15. Visit your management office frequently. Say wassup. Believe it or not, 90% of the folks who work in this industry do it because they love the interaction they get with so many different people. I'm serious. Just visit the office to say hi. Talk with the guy or gal who leased you your apartment. If they don't remember you, don't take it personal. Remind them who you are... and they'll either remember you or pretend to. HA! Either way, when you do this, you turn yourself into a friend and a resident... not just the person in 4B.

It may be hard-hitting for some of you reading this. But it's the blatant, honest truth. It's how things work. It's the nature of the beast. And I'm sorry for skewing into this giant tangent of apartment-living hell, but I figured some, most, or all of this could help my readers understand how the industry really works. I know it's where many of you may live, but reality speaks... and just like any industry, it involves balance sheets, accounting, budgeting, and every other aspect of any business. And a little bit more. And why, sometimes, it makes me eat brownies the size of my face.

I wrrrruuuvvvv all of you! And thanks for reading =)

Still feeling that brownie,

Could I Be Any More Pathetic?

2010-09-08T02:04:00.000-07:00

Gawd friends... I'm so down on myself. I need to get over this hump... and BAD. I'm sorry... did I say hump? I meant to say habit. Wait... did I say habit? I meant to say habits. Sorry 'bout that!

I feel like such a loser lately, and not in the good way! Can I get a giant hand in the shape of an "L" over the forehead please? Bleh!

Yesterday, I ate an entire cheese pizza. All of it. Every last bit. And, on top of that, a half pan of brownies from King Soopers (which WE ALL KNOW are the best). It was Labor Day... and I was making excuses for eating like crap. Stupid excuses, I know. But they were my excuses. And so was, AND IS, the heart burn and bloating. They go along with the territory. With every up, there is a down... but in my case, to every down, there is an up. A burning, bloated, burbling, burping up. Fucking carbs. Why do they even have to exist? In fact, why do taste buds even have to exist? What's their purpose, other than ruining my life and making eating celery as a snack something that should be given to someone as a mean, torturous trick?

Eating sucks sometimes. =(

But here's the true reason for this post... is this really weight loss, readers? Sitting in front of my TV with a pack of smokes and a twelve pack in the fridge? Do I really want to tell myself that THIS is the schedule of a healthy person:

1. Wake up.

2. Pee.

3. Shower.

4. Drink Coffee.

5. Sit behind a desk for almost nine hours... stressed out, under-paid, and over-worked.

6. Pee.

7. Arrive home.

8. Watch porn. Get a little tickle.

9. Shower.

10. Lounge on the couch for almost seven hours, marathon-watching HBO mini-series while drinking beer, smoking, and eating low-carb.

Well, the obvious answer here is: "Absolutely Wes! This is what a person does to become healthy. All the hot, muscular men around you do the same exact thing! Except they cut out numbers 4, 5, 8, and 10. Well, maybe not number 8, but who knows? Everyone loves porn. Anyway, it's only four tenths of your list, yo!"

Yeah... almost half of what I do every day needs to be changed. Ugh. Not easy... yo.

... blink, blink.

Here's my five-step plan to ween myself off these bad habitos (that wespanish for "habits", you know):

First step: No more drinking on school nights.

Second Step: Get off the smokey treats.

Third Step: Brownies down the garbage disposal

Fourth Step: Find a damn hobby, other than TV and my fat ass on the couch.

Fifth Step: Research workouts online and get my plan together for the winter.

... leg itch.

Alright friends. Starting tomorrow, no more beers. And a nice, healthy meal followed by (I'm not gunna lie) a smokey treat. Then after that, research on workout plans. Followed by a overly-dramatic episode of my person sitting in a dark corner crying while asking for a giant plate of brownies.

Just kidding. But only about the brownie part.

... blink.

Thanks for listening in friends! I look forward to your comments and new posts. And, just as an FYI, I'm still reading all your blogs, but haven't had a chance to comment on all your great successes. I LURRRRV reading them all and can't wait for the next update =)

Air Hug (and tomorrow maybe carmel corn),

Wes

Torn Between Friends, Family and Fitness.

2010-09-01T22:50:00.000-07:00

Hi friends! Hope everything is wonderfully well with you all! The Ex Hot Girl is currently shaking her face off at the John Mayer concert at Red Rocks, my computer no longer plays video (which is a HUGE problem, and you all know for what reason), it's the first of the month, which means an insane next four days at work, I have a cat palm on my patio that's basically committing suicide despite how much I water and sunshine I give it, my three day weekend is shot thanks to work, I'm currently dealing with a clothing CRISES (nothing is fitting right!), and there's this promotion that I keep interviewing for at work that I don't even think I want.

Bleh. Life is sucking the big one right now. And not in the good way.

Anyway, I was thinking a few days back about my last post about getting back into the gym once winter arrives. I need to get a freaking plan together! And fast. Winter is seriously right around the corner... usually the end of September / beginning of October is when the weather really takes a sharp turn in Colorado. It's already dropping into the 40s at night. And what's really worrying me is that I am going to get stuck doing the same thing I did last winter: sitting on the couch, snacking my balls off, and marathon-watching rented HBO and Showtime series' (or would that just be "series"?).

.... *blink*

So here's my plan:

I'm cutting off all communication with my friends and family, moving to an undisclosed location, changing my phone number, selling myself on xTube, paying for everything with cash, doing nothing but working out and eating right, and living vicariously through GayWeigh. Seriously... I think that's the only way I can accomplish what I want to. I just need to not have a life and make this thing totally mind over matter. I need to write down the habits I need to lose, the habits I need to gain, figure out how to not alienate everyone around me by changing those habits, and still stay sane and stable.

So, just as a quick list, here are the habits I need to change:

1. Smoking and doing things that I associate with it... like drinking coffee.

.... *pursing lips*

Eff this, It's not going to work.

Just kidding. Moving on:

2. Polishing off twelve-packs on work nights.

3. Making no effort when getting ready for work.

4. Chewing my damn finger nails.

5. Looking at myself in the mirror with disgust.

6. Snacking, snacking, snacking, snacking, snacking, snacking. And snacking.

7. Chowing down on Tums every time I eat bad.

And here are the habits I need to gain:

1. Thinking about 5.30PM as time to hit the gym, not time to hit the couch.

2. Hanging out with healthy people who hate fast food.

3. Getting at least seven or eight hours of sleep every night.

4. Taking more pride in the way I maintain my body... like trimming, manscaping, and moisturizing.

5. Looking at myself in the mirror with motivation.

6. Trying on clothes before buying them, despite what the result may be.

7. Making the plan for after work to be eating right, working out, and getting in bed before midnight.

8. Finding hobbies that (i) do not allow me to drink, (ii) create a sense of accomplishment and (iii) make me feel like I've reached a goal.

9. Remembering how awful I feel after eating badly.

10. Talking more about fitness with my ex personal trainer and less about his penis.

11. Budgeting.

So there it is... BAM! The starting list of things I need to lose and gain. The problem I'm facing, however, is that most of the things I need to gain require more time... which I already feel like I don't have enough of. As you all may remember from my previous posts, I'm all about fast, convenient things. I don't want to spend an hour cooking dinner. I don't want to spend a ton of time shopping for clothes. I don't want to feel like I'm under the clock all the time, like I do at work.

So what's a homo to do? How do I change all these things without leaving my friends and family behind? If I do change these things, but still hang around people who love to drink, eat pizza and french fries, and not make fitness a part of their lives, I'm afraid I'll get sucked back into my old habits. And on top of that, how do I find time to do my thang, while still doing their thang? I know it's not normal to feel this way, but I'm not sure how to gain new fitness-friendly friends while still maintaining all the friendships I've gained. The plan in my head doesn't allow for me to see my current friends very often... and only allows time for work, gym time, and sleep.

I'm torn, yo.

Inspiration Eye Candy

2010-09-01T21:48:00.000-07:00

Guilty Confession #2

2010-09-01T21:41:00.001-07:00

I posted a dirty video of myself on xTube yesterday.

Waiting for Winter

2010-08-26T21:40:00.000-07:00

Hey Readers! Hope is all well and skinny in your world!

I'm so excited for winter to arrive (for once in my life), because it's when I'm going to hit the gym hardcore, and do some major cardio and weight-lifting. As you may all remember, I decided to focus on weight loss over the summer, since there were too many tempting distractions during the summer months (i.e. BBQ's, bar-hopping, vacations, and visiting friends) that I knew would interfere with my ability to stick to any sort of workout plan.

I'm contemplating getting back together with my old personal trainer as well, and having him kick my ass in the gym-o-riffic. He's quite the cutie patootie:

And totally straight. And the person responsible for this. Talk about motivating! You need to visit the Genesis Health and Fitness website right now and read about what he, and his entire crew, are about. Then, you need to sign up for the program. They're all good people and have changed the lives of so many men and women, and in such a positive way. The team at Genesis and Health and Fitness truly are about serious health and well-being.

Anyway... back to me:

I need to find some intense workouts for the winter. I've been researching them online, and have found nothing. Zero. Zilch. Zippo. NADA! And that's no me gusta! And a huge problemo.

Who's got some good workout tips? Tell me readers... what do you do at the gym, and how often do you do it?

I Suck at Life

2010-08-22T22:16:00.000-07:00

And for several reasons:

1. I haven't updated you all since the 11th. Yeah... that's nine days. Almost a week and a half.

2. Last Tuesday, I ate chicken nuggets and french fries for dinner.

3. On Wednesday, I had more french fries and an entire hamburger for lunch.

4. On Thursday, I ate pizza and bread sticks for dinner. And had like... nine beers. ON A THURSDAY.

5. And then, since being bloated and having heartburn weren't enough, I PIGGED... THE EFF... OUT at Taco Bell last night.

I feel like a fallen soldier. Good Lord! AMAZINGLY, this morning I weighed in at 166.6... three pounds less than my last weigh-in on the first of August, which was an even 169. And what's with the triple sixes!? Someone is trying to tell me something! Don't ask me how I managed to accomplish 166.6, because I have no idea. And, I'm not holding my breath, either. I'm sure I'll see ALL those meals packed on later next week some time.

I do want to apologize for the lack of updates, though. It's been such a crazy week at work, and I've been so stressed, that I've done everything I can to avoid having to look at a computer screen. I've been using that lump three feet above my ass (thank you, A League of Their Own) to do nothing but watch TV and veg my chubby little face on the couch. I'm proud to announce that today... I officially feel like crap. Like a bloated walrus ready to give birth. Like a lounge singer, straining to get her voice to reach the man in the back corner of the bar. Like the way I felt when I first started this whole journey. And I hate it.

Lesson learned. And I'm going to start following Denise and Nick's advice. I'm starting a little notebook that documents how I feel after eating badly. In fact, I think I'll post it here for you all to see. That way, I'm not only accountable to myself, but to you all, as well. I'll title them... "Food Hangover". Because that's exactly what they are! Let me tell you about this morning, and my first Food Hangover:

This morning involved a very bloated belly, which I looked at with disgust and regret. I looked almost prego, and my belly was hard to the touch. "Ugh...!" I thought to myself, as I rolled the blankets back over myself so I didn't have to look at it. I fell back asleep for about an hour... and woke up with some really, really bad heartburn. "You're an idiot, Wes." I tell myself. I roll myself out of bed, put on my shorts, and buckle my belt a little bit looser. "That's familiar" I say out loud. Rolling my eyes, I head off to the bathroom, whip Jr. out, and as I look down, I really see the damage. I was so bloated, the bottom of my shirt didn't even touch the waste line of my pants (as it usually does). I rolled my eyes again, rubbed them, moaned, flushed the toilet, grabbed four Tums, and headed out into the living room. I sat down, and since I was so bloated, had to unbuckle my belt and lay back to relieve the pressure on my mid-section. I chowed down on the Tums to get rid of my heart burn, and just sat there... for an entire half an hour. I was thinking about why in the hell I let myself get so out of control the night before and the days before that: "What was it that caused me to skew off my path?" "Why did I even think it would be OK to go overboard by so much?" "Where did eat I that gave me no option for eating right?" "Who forced these items down my throat and who was I hanging out with?" "When did I decide that I felt good enough to eat as I did?"

I came to one simple conclusion: there was no who. No what. No when. No where. And definitely no why. It was me. ALL ME. I let me do this to myself. Because, there was no place, no person, no reason, and no point in which I felt good enough to be bad. I did this to myself, and I deserved every inch of the way I felt.

I stood up, rubbed my eyes again, and said to myself "this is a new day... and you're going to get back on track and stick to it, you homo. Just like you have for the past two months. Don't fall off again, like you usually do. You promised yourself... and everyone reading your blog, as well. You now have more than just yourself to answer to. And Jenn's going to be PISSED when she hears about this."

I then undressed, got in the shower, scrubbed myself squeaky clean, dried off, got dressed, and headed out the door with my bloated belly on a mission for a low-carb lunch salad, grilled chicken patty, and diet soda. And, of which, I was able to accomplish at Buffalo Wild Wings... and I owe that to all of you. Cause had all of you not been commenting and holding me accountable, I would have woken up and said "Well... that's that. I'm all fat and bloated now. Might as well go get 907 pancakes and 47 sides of hashbrowns and call it a day! Oh, I need 18 tubs of extra buttery-flavored syrup too!"

So I thank you, my readers, for following, reading, and commenting. It keeps me in check, and in this case, gets my ass back on track.

Here's to getting back in the game... and here's to you! Muah!

Jesse's Fabulous Sunday Salad

2010-08-11T22:33:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! I wanted to share with you a salad that Jesse made at my house on Sunday. It was incredibly simple:

Lettuce (in a salad... no way!)

Radishes

Mushrooms

Sprouts

Low Fat Balsamic Dressing

... and SUPER DELICIOUS. I couldn't believe how good this was. And I hate mushrooms and radishes. And Balsamic. Don't ask me why, but for whatever reason the combination of these items made this salad awesome and irresistible. He gave me a taste and I almost beat him up so I could steal the bowl and eat the rest. But that would have left him with nothing to eat, and that would have been very unbecoming of a lady.

Enjoy!

Inspiration Eye Candy

2010-08-11T21:44:00.000-07:00

Good one this week readers! Here's Art, an all-American 8-Pack. Photographed by Greg Vaughan:

Short and Sweet

2010-08-11T21:20:00.000-07:00

Yes, readers. I am short. And sweet. ;-)

Just a quick update from the Denver homo. Sorry I haven't blogged much over the past week. Not much has been going on in my world... except for the fact that I'm up to 169.2 pounds. Bleh! It was those DAMN FRIES! Ugh... I'm PISSED! That's ok. It's only two pounds, right? That'll come off faster than my pants when standing next to Jason Ritter. What sucks is it seems those pounds just can't come off fast enough, agreed?

Anyway, with the extra weight gain I'm really focusing hardcore on my eating and trying to drink tons of water. It feels like it's helping, but I definitely haven't woken up for a while with that "super-fabulous-skinny" feeling. I'm hoping it'll come back before the weekend, when the ExHotGirl arrives for a whole week! I'm so excited I could just spit.

How is everyone doing on their eating and exercising plans? Has the thought of fall and winter arriving (and the baggy clothes that go along with it!) made anyone tempted to slip up and eat an entire birthday cake, a bucket of Miracle Whip, or down three boxes of Cheez-Its? Because I had a dream about doing all of that just the other night. Not really, but I'm still trying to figure out if it would be classified as a regular dream or one of those fancy wet dreams. Hmmm...

So that's the latest from me! And in the words of Jermaine Stewart: We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off... to Have a Good Time.

Comment and let me know what's new with ya!

I Screwed Up

2010-08-08T20:22:00.000-07:00

Well, sort of. On Friday, my boss and I went out to lunch at Red Robin® together. It was a beautiful day, I was feelin' skinny, and was in a great mood. For the time being, anyway.

As we entered the restaurant, all I could smell was yummy sesame seed buns and french fries. You know... those two things that are 100% forbidden on my eating plan. The two things I miss the most. The two things that make me act like Roger Rabbit after a shot of whiskey.

Anyway, we sat down and I started looking over the menu chock full of deep-fried chicken fingers, nachos, onion rings, french-fries-with-everything entrees, and deep-fried chicken burgers. It was awful. But, I decided to be a good boy despite how skinny and wonderful I was feeling. I ended up ordering just a regular hamburger, protein style, on a plate, with no tomato and no cheese. I was like "yeah... go Wes. Even though the waitress thinks you're a freak for eating a hamburger without the bun, it doesn't matter. In fact, if she wanted a good tip, she would have said 'oh my god... i love my burgers like that!', but she didn't. So eff her!"

Anyway, my boss ordered her little BBQ Grilled Chicken wrap thingy and an iced tea. "Not bad..." I think to myself. "I can deal with watching her stuff her mouth hole with that. Suh-weet-ah". And then she went and did it. She ordered a basket of fries as an appetizer.

"Bitch." I think to myself.

I turned my head to the waitress, in hopes that she would be responding with a "Oh, I'm sorry. We're out of french fries today. Would you like some lettuce to chew on?" But no. The only thing that comes out of her mouth is "absolutely!".

"Bitch. No tip." I think to myself.

I stare down at my Diet Coke. I take a sip and slunch back in my chair. I know it's over. I was already thinking of being bad when we were on our way to the restaurant. And, even though I ordered properly and totally well, I knew that a basket of fries to start with was going to send me over the edge. Just the thought of watching my boss dip those huge, golden, crunchy french fries in ranch dressing and put them in her mouth (where her taste buds are!), was killing me. And, it was at that point, I realized I had royally screwed up. I forgot to tell the waitress to sub my fries for a side salad. And so, at that point, I realized it was totally over. French fries in my face before and during the meal!? It. Was. Over.

The basket of fries arrives. I pick around for the small ones. "One or two won't hurt" I keep telling myself. And then, when all the small ones were gone, I started on the medium ones. And then when those were all gone, I started with all the big ones (which, in other circumstances, I usually go for anyway). Before I know it, the basket was empty. And my boss, who ordered the damn thing to being with, ended up getting four, FOUR, fries out of the whole basket.

AND THEN, our food arrives. I have a burger wrapped in lettuce with fries on the side. "This looks effing retarded" I think to myself. "People are looking at me thinking 'Apparently, that dude thinks that subtracting the bun from the equation totally makes the fries okay. Loser.'" So, I pick up my hamburger and chow... the eff... down. I devour this thing faster than anything in the world, hoping it will fill me up enough to not want the fries.

Yeah... right. What was I thinking? I ate every single fry on my plate, and, had a bite of my boss' wrap.

It wasn't until about thirty minutes after lunch that I really felt the effects of my french fry feast. I felt awful. I was bloated. Actually... I was totally bloated, was contemplating unbuttoning my pants, and was sitting in my office chair in total regret. I hated myself for allowing myself to lose control like I did. I totally went overboard and, for whatever reason, couldn't just be satisfied with one or two bites off the french fry train.

I dealt with the bloating for all of Friday, all of Saturday, and finally, FINALLY, today the bloating is gone. I feel like I'm back at where I started on Friday morning, which sucks. I'm right back where I started over two days ago. Bleh! And, while I feel comfortable, again, being able to wear shirts and pants without having to suck it in too much, I am pissed that I had to go through over 48-hours of not feeling so utterly great. It wasn't worth it. And will never be worth it.

And now, I'm happy to report, my wonderful friends and readers, that I've learned my lesson. If I'm going to be a bad boy, I'm only going to do it for hot, muscled men with deep commanding voices. Not for french fries. Not for Snickers. Not for hash browns. And definitely not for cookie dough!

Going forward, French Fries = No Megusta.

And, also going forward, Paul Walker is perfect. And needs to be the father of my children. And needs to be naked in my bed. Right now.

But that'll never happen, so instead... here's this:

Enjoy... and thanks for reading!

KFC and A&W

2010-08-04T23:10:00.000-07:00

I've decided these bastards are the enemy, people. The absolute enemy. If there is any fast food joint that should be attacked for providing the most fattening, unhealthy food to the people of this world, it's the KFC and A&W joints littered across America.

Here's the sad, sad story:

Desperate and hungry, my best friend Jesse and I decided to cruise through a KFC/A&W joint located off the beaten path out in BFE. I said "Dude... KFC offers grilled chicken now. We could totally find something there to eat. Just stay away from the cheese-curds, mKay?"

We pulled up to the ordering menu window thingy and spent, at least, five minutes reviewing the menu looking for salads, grilled chicken sandwiches, moderately healthy side dishes, and the like. After a car pulled up behind us, we told the wonderfully understanding and patient drive-through (not drive-thru) attendant that we weren't sure what we wanted, that we were going to circle around, let the car behind us go first, and then order the second time around. "OK... see you soon!" she said.

We drove around the joint, not speaking a word to each other, most likely because we were in shock, and returned, again, to the ordering menu. After another few minutes, Jesse asks "I'm... I'm sorry. Where are your salads on the menu?"

"Oh... they took the salads off a little while back." the attendant, who'll we'll call Alissa, responds.

"Oh...", we both respond in unison and a little bit of harmony... choir girls!

"Well," says Jesse, "I'm sorry, but, what is the healthiest thing on your menu then?"

"Well, the grilled Doublicious is most likely the healthiest item on the menu..."

Both of us look at the picture on the menu. It's an original, deep-fried chicken patty slathered with Colonel's sauce, Monterrey Jack cheese, bacon, and honey mustard dressing... all slapped between two Hawaiian rolls. 470 calories, with 23 grams of fat. The grilled version is 360 calories and 11 grams of fat (still, not that fabulous). But here we were, staring at a picture of a delicious, deep-fried chicken patty with a ton of cheese and, oh... my... god... bacon, cheese, creamy sauces, and... (for me)... a bun.

We both panic, I pull out a knife and attempt to stab myself in the face. Jesse (thank god for him) pulls the knife out of my hand and yells "You're doing it wrong!". He slams it into my jugular.

Just kidding. That last part didn't happen. We both actually did the same thing as the first time we drove up... we stared at the menu in confusion, indecision, and frustration.

Finally, we both realized there was NOTHING on this damn menu we could order and actually feel good about eating. But we sucked it up and went for it. We both ordered the grilled Doublicious. And out of the nine... NINE side items on their "sides menu", there were two "healthy" sides. Corn on the cob (which is slathered in butter) or green beans (which is swimming in butter). We both order the green beans.

On the way back to the house, Jesse freaks out about the sandwich. And he goes on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on about it. And on about it. And then about it some more. And then on about it a little bit more. And then, yes you guessed it... on about it.

I tell him "Jesse, you ordered the most healthy, available thing on the menu. We both did. Take the bacon off, scrape off the dressing, and your calorie content will drop by quite a bit...". He was happy with that response.

We ate our dinner. The chicken patty was slathered in grease. The green beans were disgusting (although... Jesse liked them. Him and I have never had agreeing tastes. He likes an arugula salad with grilled duck, cilantro-mango dressing and roasted almonds and I like... steak and potatoes). Either way, the meal was less that satisfying. Actually, it sucked. The food sucked, and so did the customer service.

I'm gunna reference this. And, I know, the ExHotGirl, will most likely not like that reference, but I have to say it again, I feel Mickey D's has been the most proactive and responsible fast food provider in offering healthier options for it's consumers. KFC and A&W, which is owned and operated by Yum! Brands (also Taco Bell and Pizza Hut), need to get a clue, grab a nutrition menu, and seriously review the content in the content they provide.

Fatty, carbohydrate-laden foods are a thing of the past, friends! We're healthy reader-eaters. We're about convenient, fast, healthy foods. And the first fast-food joint to offer that is the winner.

McDonald's is first in the running. Any of you want to challenge that?

Comment!

Today was a PHENOMENAL Day!!

2010-08-04T21:48:00.000-07:00

PHENOMENAL, PHENOMENAL, PHENOMENAL, PHENOMENAL! Readers... some good news from the GayWeigh:

1) In a 136-page ruling, Judge Vaughn Walker has declared Proposition 8, the measure banning same-sex marriage in California, unconstitutional under both the due-process and equal-protection clauses:

Proposition 8 fails to advance any rational basis in singling out gay men and lesbians for denial of a marriage license. Indeed, the evidence shows Proposition 8 does nothing more than enshrine in the California Constitution the notion that opposite- sex couples are superior to same-sex couples. BecPlaintiffs have demonstrated by overwhelming evidence that Proposition 8 violates their due process and equal protection rights and that they will continue to suffer these constitutional violations until state officials cease enforcement of Proposition 8. California is able to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, as it has already issued 18,000 marriage licenses to same- sex couples and has not suffered any demonstrated harm as a result, see FF 64-66; moreover, California officials have chosen not to defend Proposition 8 in these proceedings." “Because Proposition 8 is unconstitutional under both the Due Process and Equal Protection Clauses, the court orders entry of judgment permanently enjoining its enforcement; prohibiting the official defendants from applying or enforcing Proposition 8 and directing the official defendants that all persons under their control or supervision shall not apply or enforce Proposition 8.ause California has no interest in discriminating against gay men and lesbians, and because Proposition 8 prevents California from fulfilling its constitutional obligation to provide marriages on an equal basis, the court concludes that Proposition 8 is unconstitutional.

Woot, freakin' woot! One our nations most-heavily populated states has finally ruled IN FAVOR of same-sex marriage... as it should be! You can read reactions to the rulings, from both sides of the issue, here.

2) Today, I hit 168 pounds on the scale! You know what that means... I get this fancy little sucker:

That's right all my skinny bitches! Yahoo! It's a party in my skinny pants, and you're all invited. ;-)

3) Today, the day when Rent is considered late at work and late fees are fired onto ledgers faster than you can say "I forgot my most important bill of the month!", I decided to make delivering my "You're rent is late and now your kinda screwed" letters a little more fun by counting how many stairs I climbed up and down while schleping my ass around my three-acre community in 90-degree heat. It's pretty interesting how 3/4 of my late-payers and rubber-check-writing residents are ALWAYS on the third floors. Hmmmm...

So how many stairs did I climb in an hour and half? 307. How out of breath was I? You mean, how NOT out of breath was I! How sweaty was my bodess? Let's just say I showered, changed clothes, cologned, and reapplied the deodorant afterwards. But the most important things is... how did I feel when I sat back in my chair at work? The answer to that is GREAT! Sewper Dewper Ultra Fabulous! Like I was sitting in a giant pool of Josh Duhamel. Like I was sipping on a tall, ultra-chilled glass of Cooler than the World. Like I was driving down Lady Gaga Blvd at 100 MPH (wearing my seatbelt, of course) while listening to "Emotions" by Mariah Carey.

I. Felt. Great.

By no means, however, was this a workout... but it's the first time I've ever returned to work feeling better than I did before delivering my nasty-grams. It's incredible what better eating can do for you...
Please Note: I do not actually enjoy delivering nasty, legal notices to people I barely know that demand money or the keys to their home. But it's my job. And the reason I get a "Thank you!" letter every two weeks in the mail. The exercise is great. The "aftermath", well... can get messy.

4) I found twenty bucks in a pair of shorts before doing laundry! TWENTY DOLLARS! That's a week's worth of Cold Stone Ice Cream with extra cookie dough! I mean... crap, I'm sorry... two week's of delicious salads from Sweet Tomatoes.

5) I got laundry done!

6) Today was President Obama's Birthday! Did you sign his birthday card? I did. My message:

Happy Birthday Mr. President! You're doing a wonderful job managing this wonderful country ours!

I hate to litter your birthday card with all that boring politic stuff, but please make repealing DOMA and DADT a strong focus during your "new year". We all need your help in providing equal rights for everyone.

I hope your birthday was incredibly fantastic! And, don't worry about forgetting my name on the invite list this year. I was only mildly offended.

Hugs, High Fives, and a bottle of your favorite beer,

- Wesley

7) I called my friend and cowoker today, and he sounds better than ever. He answered the phone with such zealous, I almost cried (gah ahead... call me a total homo. I know you want to). He's been moved to a rehab center about 15 miles north (closer to me!) and is doing great at his rehab thang. Go buddy.

8) I just found out Lakewood (MY hood) is getting a chick-fil-a! CHICK-FIN-ALLY.

Friends, despite spending 11 hours at work yesterday, and 12 today... August 4th, 2010 managed to be one of the most productive, wonderful, exciting, and rewarding days I've experienced in quite a long time. I like to think these things happen because of my new, better outlook on life. That I've manifested these good-haps on a ground more powerful than just material items and hopes and dreams; but rather a true belief in the good things to come. I'm very excited to see what's going to come next! I'm just hoping it will be Hugh Jackman in some amateur home video.

OK. Totally inappropriate.

How are all of you doing!?

Three Flights and a Small Studio

2010-08-02T21:56:00.000-07:00

So tonight my friend Jesse and I were on our way to get some grilled chicken salads (yum!!), and I started talking with him about this guy I met on Sunday evening through another friend. He was a pretty heavy guy, probably about 310 to 320 pounds, a red head, dressed in Prada sunglasses, and was wearing some fancy flip flops with linen pants. As I was describing him to Jesse, I told him that I could not help but think of him when I met this fellow. It was like I was staring at a version of Jesse from when I first met him through Jenn, before he had lost almost 100 pounds. The resemblance was pretty uncanny. And I told Jesse "I was looking at him, thinking 'this is where Jesse used to be. He's lost so much weight!'"

After meeting this gentleman, I stood by on the sidelines and listened to him complain to Chris about the new apartment he had just moved into. He was upset because he had been shown a unit that was leased, but was told the studio he would be getting would be exactly the same. Obviously, that wasn't the case. He told Chris the apartment didn't have an air conditioning unit, was on the third floor, not the first and with no elevator, that the closet was about half the size of the one he saw, and that the doorways weren't as wide. He said he could barely squeeze into the kitchen and that he had no room to turn around in his closet.

I told Jesse that last list item hit me in the face like a ton of ice cream trucks. That I walk around too much not thinking about the things heavier people have to account for in their lives. I asked him "wouldn't things like that really motivate you to lose the weight?" And he responded, making a very good point:

"The thing that people don't understand Wes, is that when you're that heavy, doing anything is difficult. Walking up stairs is hard. Getting in and out of a vehicle is hard. Just walking to the mailbox is a chore. And people stand around and look at us and say 'why don't you just get on a treadmill and walk or run?' and it's like 'you expect me, a person who breaks a sweat just walking into work, to get on a treadmill and walk 5 miles per hour? You're crazy'".

And, that's true. I guess I've never really realized how difficult general life duties can be for someone who is really heavy. And I feel like a total nard face for never realizing it. I can relate to things being a bit more difficult, as I think back to my heaviest days. But I can't relate on a scale that's even close to what Jesse described to me. Things that were more difficult for me were trying to fit into pants, finding clothes baggy enough to hide my belly, and mustering up the energy to walk from the couch to my fridge. For him, it was walking up the stairs in his house and getting out of his car.

I think in the long run, for the gentleman I met on Sunday, it's going to be a good thing he has to walk up three flights of stairs to get to his home. And I have no idea if he is taking any steps to become healthier. I don't know what his day-to-day routine is. But I do know this: the steps he's taking every day to get home are going to help him, hopefully, one day realize that losing weight may not be as hard as it seems. That one day he'll wake up and say "I walk up and down three flights of stairs three to four times a day. If I can do that, then I should be able to walk to work. And if I can do that, then I should be able to spend ten minutes on a bike at the gym. And if I can do that, then I'll be able to walk on the the treadmill for 15 minutes. And if I can do that, then I'll be able to spend a good amount of time on a stair stepper. And if I can do that, then I'll be able to jog on the treadmill for 20 minutes. And if I can do that, then I'll be able to run up the stairs at my apartment complex. And then if I can do that, I'll be able to bike to work everyday. And if I can do that, then I'll be able to mix in some weight training at the gym with my cardio workout. And if I can do that, then I'll be able to..." and before he knows it, he'll look in the mirror and see a skinner, healthier, more energetic him. And from there... take it to a level that's more extreme than anything he's ever done, and continue down the road he's already begun to travel, but at a much faster pace.

Inspiration Eye Candy

2010-08-02T20:58:00.001-07:00

The Day I Decided To Be a Loser

2010-08-01T22:17:00.000-07:00

I love it when people call me a loser. Because when they do, it gives me the opportunity to turn around and say "yeah, bitch. I am... A total, undeniable loser. That's what I am."

I remember the day the day I decided to be a loser. It was a Tuesday morning and I was staring at my naked body in the mirror (not fun). Even though I was late for work, as usual, I stood there looking at myself thinking "it's no wonder that dude sent me home", "it's no wonder I wear baggy clothes that hide how I really look", "THIS is why I can't wear half of the clothes in my closet", "Jesus Christ... I need to trim!".

It was in the shower that I decided it was time to make a change. That I was tired of "sucking it in" and pretending to be the skinny boy I used to be. That I was tired of the heartburn (Tums are going to save the world!), the constant stomach aches, and the feeling of being bloated and incredibly full. I was done, done, done, done. And done.

It was that day, that one day, that will be burned in my brain forever. And I'll never forget it... because it was the most productive day I've ever had at work, the one day when I walked around the Earth breathing as easy as Whitney hits those high notes, and the one day when I felt more like the beauty than the beast. It was an incredible feeling. It was almost as if I had been bitten by a Mr. Edward Cullen and reborn (you all know you'd like that bite... don't lie).

And here I am, months later... wearing clothes I haven't been able to fit into for years (the corset is faaabulous), hitting up the bars with more confidence than ever (still haven't gotten laid), taking chances, and fitting into pants that have been collecting dust for years upon years in my closet.

Friends... there's nothing out there that could take these feelings from me. It's so wonderful being lighter than ever. So wonderful fitting back into the clothes I've kept around from my skinny days. So wonderful having confidence back. So wonderful looking at my naked self in the mirror and seeing the lovely progress of my labor. So wonderful to feel back in the game.

And once again... so wonderful being a total loser.

Follow Up

2010-08-01T22:10:00.000-07:00

Hey friends! Hope all is skinny and well. =)

I know I don't seem like the type of fag to follow up on previous posts, but sorry pumpkins... I totally am. I gotta make sure you're all doing exceptionally well and know that you are all appreciated and lurrrrrrved! And with that in mind:

1) How many times, or how many people, have you reminded to buckle up or wear a helmet this week?

2) How many of you have adjusted your shopping habits based upon this post and the ExHotGirl's advice on cruising for food around the perimeter of the grocery store?

3) How many of you ordered a Betty White hoodie?

4) The ExHotGirl was the only person to participate in Healthy Words With Friends. I was totally stoked that she was up for challenge, but totally bummed that nobody else joined. C'mon readers... get with it!

Apple Bottom Jeans... Boots With The Furrrrrrr

2010-08-01T21:08:00.000-07:00

Dude... If the picture to your left, as taken by yours truly, isn't inspiration enough to go crazy on the squats, I don't know what is! Click to embiggen!

Seatbelts and Helmets... An Update

2010-08-01T20:50:00.000-07:00

Hi friends and readers! I want to start out by saying "Thank You!" for all the wonderful, supportive comments on my last post. It's very exciting and inspiring to see so many of my friends and readers understand where I was coming from, and sympathize with my friend's situation. THANK YOU all for keeping him in your thoughts. It has truly helped, and I'm very happy to report some good news. My friend is doing incredibly well:

1) Over the past week, despite the brand-new titanium rod running from his hip down to his ankle, he has managed to "walk" around his room, sit in a chair, and return back to his hospital bed without incident.

2) Just yesterday, his doctor removed him from 24-hour monitoring and approved the tube in his chest to be removed, which was there for his collapsed lung.

3) He got a bath... well, a sponge bath... which made him totally happy and much, much more content with laying around in his hospital bed.

4) He is awake and very responsive. He finally knows what happend, what's happening, and what's going to happen. It's a miracle he has no brain trauma.

So, hip hip hooray on his recovery! I saw him on Friday, and his state of being was very encouraging and inspiring. He's doing very, very well. It looks like the $70.00 worth of junk food I bought him was worth it.

Thanks again, everyone, for keeping this wonderful man in your thoughts. He is recovering at an incredible rate, and I like to think it's because you and I have been so strong for him. Muah!

P.S.: Don't forget you bitches... seat belts and helmets!

Seatbelts and Helmets

2010-07-28T23:21:00.000-07:00

Alright readers... serious post here. Is this post about weight loss? No. Is it about your well-being? Absolutely. So it totally belongs on this blog. This post belongs on any blog, for that matter. Because this is some serious crap, and you all need to pay close attention, because it's a matter of life and death.

What I am about to tell you has made me total wreck for the past two days. I haven't been able to focus at work, so have had zero productivity, have ruined my contacts from tearing up and crying so much, and I feel guilty for even laughing or doing anything enjoyable knowing what pain a good friend of mine is in. This has literally opened my eyes to seeing how quickly life can change for one person. I can't even begin to wrap my head around what he is feeling right now, what he felt when it all happened, or even the pain he and his family and other friends are in.

On Monday I received a tearful, frantic voice mail from my boss asking me to call her right away, that one of my co-workers (my leasing manager) had gotten into an accident, and was in the ICU.

Pissed at myself for allowing my phone to die and getting the message four hours later, I called her back immediately. It was 2AM and I didn't give a damn if I woke her up. She answered, and I told her all I needed was the hospital he was at. She told me, I packed my things up, and got in my car.

When I arrived at the hospital, I was running around asking nurses where I could find my co-worker. I was so frantic, I was getting myself completely turned around in the halls, taking elevators to wrong floors and floors that were under construction, walking through doors that led to empty offices and parking garages, and arriving in wings that didn't even house trauma victims. I eventually found someone and told them I had been searching for room so and so in the trauma wing and asked if she could please take me there as I had been running around aimlessly for about 30 minutes. "Absolutely... follow me sweetie." she said. She could tell I was upset, and was making small talk with me the whole way there, trying to get me to forget what ever it was that I was so worried about. She asked me a few questions about the person I was there to see, if he was ok, etc.

"I, I-don, I'm not, I-I-I-I. I'm not sure. I just, I really... I just don't know. I-I... I'm trying to get to him. I have no idea what state he's in." I said.

"Well, he's in one of the best trauma hospitals in the city, so know that he's in good hands here. We take our patients very seriously." She said, placing her hand on my back. We walked off the elevator. "Right that way through those doors you'll be able to find your friend. My best wishes sweetie..."

"Thank you." I said.

I walked through the double-wide doors into another empty hallway, with a few nurses walking around with their clipboards, the sound of EKG's beeping in the background, medical machines lining the doorways to each of the rooms. "I hate hospitals..." I whisper under my breath. My sneakers squeak on the shiny laminate floor as I creep down the hallway looking in and out of rooms, trying to see if any of them are my friend. A nurse approaches me and asks if she can help me find someone. I tell her who I'm looking for, and she looks over at her fellow RN. "Can he...?"

"I'm not really sure." she interrupts. "Lemme see." She picks up the phone and says a few things just quiet enough so I can't hear. "Are you a family member sir?" she asks as she places her hand over the receiver.

"Well, no. I-I'm a friend. A co-worker. I just heard about this not to long ago." I say.

She gets back on the phone, says a few more things I still cannot make out, and hangs up. She takes a deep breath and says "Alright, you can go back. But he just got out of surgery, so he can't talk or be bothered much. Understand?"

"Yes..."

"Alright. End of the hall, last room on the left." she exclaims.

"Thanks..." I say.

I start walking towards the end of the hall, looking in and out of rooms, still nervous, not knowing what to expect, to see, to hear, or smell. I arrive at the last room, take a quick peek in, and not really recognizing the person occupying the bed, I turn back around, only to see a sign with his last night scribbled on it with some other information. In disbelief, I turn back around and slowly approach the bed. It's him. Swollen, scabbed, bruised, wrapped up him in bloody bandages and a neck brace.

"Oh. My. God..." I whisper to myself. I couldn't help but study the tubes coming out of him. The hardware in him. The bruises and scabs that littered his face, his arms, his knuckles. The wires hooked up to him. The machines surrounding his body that were beeping, alarming, blinking, and dripping. I could barely recognize him.

I stood there with my mediocre cup of water and started welling up. Tears started pouring down my face. All I could do was stand there... and do nothing. I wanted to help. I wanted to find the person who did this. I wanted to waive some sort of magical wand and turn back time. Or heal him. Or... something. But all I could do... was nothing.

A short moment after, his wife walked in. She whispered a quick "heeeey..." and gave me a quick hug.

"How is he?" I ask.

"He... he's rough." she says. And then proceeds to run down his list of injuries, his surgery schedule, and what exactly put him in his current state.

Readers, on Monday evening my friend was on his way back home from a tux fitting for a wedding he was to be in next weekend. Two blocks from his home, a woman ran a red light, slammed into him at 50 miles an hour, sent him soaring above the motorcycle he was riding, over her vehicle, onto her roof, and landing head-first on a curb. He has several broken ribs, a broken arm, a broken shoulder, broken shoulder blades, a broken leg, a collapsed lung, his femur is snapped in five different places, he has two fractured vertebrae, and is missing skin due to road rash. He has an incredible amount of hardware in his left leg holding it together, is in a serious neck brace, and is bandaged beyond belief. In the time he's been in the hospital, he's gone through two surgeries, both of which were longer than five hours. He's got one more surgery tomorrow (Thursday), and another scheduled for next week. There will be more after that. The doctors are keeping him for a minimum of two weeks in the hospital. And are estimating a six-month recovery period. And if you think that sucks, please take into account that he is missing out on the most critical period for him and brand new, two-month old child to bond... because he's going to be too busy in rehab, getting strong enough to walk again.

I visited him yesterday before his surgery, looking no different from the time I had seen him the day of the accident. In fact, his bruises were a little more dark and more apparent. He was laying in bed, and as my boss and I approached, he looked at both of us and lifted his one, gauze-wrapped working arm up in the air and extended his fingers as much as he could. His fingernails still had blood under them. My boss took his hand and he let his fingers relax around it. The look in his eyes was nothing I had ever seen before. It was a look of happiness mixed with desperation, pain, and relief. Too drugged up from pain killers, he held a conversation the best he could, speaking with a hoarse voice and trying to look around the room under restriction from his neck brace. His poor lips were incredibly chapped. The nurses were giving him no liquids because he was to head into surgery soon. He was so desperate for water, he was taking the wet washcloth off his forehead and sucking the water out of it. He eventually found a nurse who was willing to give him a single ice cube to suck on. He kept saying he's never wanted water so bad in his life. It was incredibly and unbelievably hard to see someone who is normally so strong, proud, witty, and active in a state of utter helplessness and total desperation.

Readers, he is so damaged, it's a miracle he's still alive. And every doctor and nurse who's worked with him has said so. They all agree: without his helmet, he never would have survived the crash. I'm going to say that again. Without his HELMET, he never would have survived the crash. Again, without his HELMET, he never would have survived the crash. You see, when he landed, his head hit the curb so hard, it literally split his helmet in half. Those helmets are a lot harder than our skulls. So, WITHOUT HIS HELMET, HE NEVER WOULD HAVE SURVIVED THE CRASH.

The reason for my sharing of this story is this: please be smart like my friend and co-worker. Wear a damn seat belt in your car and a helmet on your motorcycle. And don't give your friends hell when they tell you to put one on, either. I have to deal with that crap all too often, and I hate it. You have an obligation to freakin' oblige and recognize your friends' respect for your life. And you all have the responsibility to show the same in return. I'll let you puke, piss, blow snot rockets, and squirt ketchup packets in my car, all day long, for every Saturday of the rest of my life, and not say a thing about it... as long as you're buckled in.

Please keep my friend in your thoughts for a speedy recovery. I know you don't know him, but he needs every bit of support he can get. Pray for him, chant for him, do what ever you can to send good things his way, because he's got a long road ahead of him, and we're only on day three...

Symptom Finger

2010-07-25T00:25:00.000-07:00

There's a reason why Symptom Finger by The Faint is one of my all time favorite songs:

And that reason is because I don't believe in the overuse of over-the-counter or prescription drugs. There's a lot of drugs out there friends, and while I think a lot of them have drastically improved the lives of many, cured countless diseases, and prolonged lives, I still feel like a lot of them are over-marketed, over-prescribed, and over-done.

A prime example is one of my best friends. All he had to do was tell his doc that he worked a ton of hours and needed something to deal with stress of work. Immediately his doctor issued a prescription that allowed him to get a one month's supply of Xanax every 30-days. That's a pill per day. Is his work stressful? Yes. Does he work a lot of hours? Yes. Does his social life suffer because of it? A little bit. Does he need that big of a prescription? Absolutely not. How many of the pills has he taken since his first prescription? Maybe six in the past few months.

There are drugs out there that are wonderful. Drugs that cure diseases, prevent and fight infections, help boost our immune system, help us keep it up longer, and keep us alive longer. But there are also drugs out there that tend to be so readily available it's scary. Our bodies were not built to digest that kind of crap. Crap like Advil, Tylenol, Bayer, and the like. These drugs simply trick the brain and cause nothing but more problems for the body. They simply mask your brain into thinking something different is going on than what's actually is. And that's sooooo not cool.

A lot of my friends wonder why I tend to never get sick. And when they ask me why, I tell the same thing every time. It's because I don't take drugs for simple shit... like headaches, backaches, fevers, colds, the flu, and the like. I don't numb my brain with those senseless drugs. The reason? Because I know my body is more than capable of fighting these things off on it's own, with just a little help from me.

Headaches and backaches? That's a cake-walk. It's a long, hot shower, a rub over the temples, (and sometimes a good tug on the junior), and voila! Gone. Fevers, colds and the flu? Well... that's lots of rest, lots of orange juice, and zero meds. "Zero meds... why!?" you ask? Because when you take meds for these types of infections, they tend to reduce your fever and trick your body into thinking it's feeling better than it actually is. When we have an infection, it's our body's natural reaction to raise it's temperature to a degree that doesn't make it possible for the infectious bacteria to live anymore. Fever reducers and pain killers counter-react this and, I believe, prolong the infection. I let my body do the work, and give it the tools to do so... like tons of rest, lots of Vitamin C, and Goldschlager (that'll clear up your sinuses faster than anything and totally put cha to bed!).

Now... am I Christian Scientist? No. Have I taken drugs before? Absolutely... for things like a staph infection (thanks 24-Hour Fitness!), chlamydia (yeah... that royally sucked), and a blood infection. Those are items that, I feel, require the help of drugs. Why? Because they're a bit more serious. But taking drugs for the most simple and common of things I feel is beyond need. Like I said before, our body wasn't designed to process drugs on a regular basis, and America (especially) needs to get over it.

The human body is an amazing thing. It communicates an incredible amount of information, and on a level that we've only barely begun to understand. It's all about mind over matter, peeps.

Readers... let cha body do it's thing. If you've got a headache, don't feed it some medicine. If you've got a cold, let the temperature rise and deal with the crappy mccrappersons. And if you've got chlamydia... see your doctor immediately. And don't be a symptom finger.

Workout Music :: Remix Nation

2010-07-24T22:44:00.000-07:00

Alright readers... here's another remix mash-up (say that five times fast!) of some great music for you to work out or bounce around in your office chair to! I hope you guys are enjoying these. Any suggestions are welcome... such as: Genres, time frames, artists, etc...Give me a challenge!

Now get to listening.

This one's for those last, slow down minutes on the treadmill:

It's a Taste Bud's Economy

2010-07-24T01:43:00.000-07:00

Taste buds kinda suck. No... they really do. I'm not really sure why they call them buds, either. Cuz their not buds. They should be called taste... enemies! Yes.. that's the word. Enemies! They send signals to our brains that say "sup brain... this deep-fried chicken strip dipped in honey mustard and ranch is totally awesome. You should have more of this shit!"

Could you imagine the world without taste buds readers? Would life be more enjoyable? Or would it suck beyond all means? Because, really... eating is one of the greatest pleasures on Earth. Besides sex, obviously. And, well... sneezing.

I'm gunna make this post kinda heavy. Because your taste buds are a serious issue people. A life without taste buds would be like replacing a life dependent on gas-powered cars with a life dependent on electric cars. How you say? Well... think about what would happen to the economy. How many oil companies would go under? How many people would lose their jobs? How many other companies would suffer? And where would people be eventually be spending their money?

It's the same situation with your taste buds. If we didn't have taste buds, foods like Oreo's, Macaroni and Cheese, Frozen Dinners, Little Debbie's Ding Dong's and HoHo's, Ranch Dressing, Colas, and every other processed food wouldn't exist. Companies like Post, Kellogg's, Frito-Lay, Kraft, Pepsi, Coke, Oscar Meyer, Shamrock, Aramark, and Coors would go out of business. Restaurants, like The Cheesecake Factory, Chilies, IHOP, Village Inn, Outback, McDonalds, Burger King, and Wendy's would all shut their doors. Grocery stores wouldn't exist. Neither would hundreds of thousands of other businesses. Companies out there are producing food that's bad for us... and making money off of it. And if you ask me, that's kinda effed up.

Our taste buds have a huge impact on the economy, readers. And most importantly, they keep people employed. No matter how you look at it, each and every one of your taste buds are worth thousands upon thousands of dollars every year. And the important thing to ask yourself is, to what food, company, or restaurant are you making your taste buds the most valuable?

There's only one way to make sure that you're taking advantage of your taste buds full value.. and that's by purchasing, ordering, and eating only the things that are good for your body. For so long, you and I have grown accustomed to teaching our taste buds to signal our brain that yes... cookies, sugars, carbs, french fries, deep fried foods, boxed dinners, frozen dinners, bacon, red meat, and other fatty foods are delicious and undeniably perfect.

Well, skinny friends... we've got to change that around. We were born with taste buds for a reason. And that's so we can enjoy the food we're stuffing into that giant hole in our face. But we have to teach our taste buds to tell our brain that a salad is just as delicious as a hand full of cookies. That a grilled chicken breast is just as delicious as our face dipped into a pile of cheesecake. It's up to US to make these companies, who made so much money off our taste buds in the past, realize that we're not up for their game anymore. That we're changing our ways and only buying the goods that are good for our bodies. That we're past all the unrecognizable and unpronounceable crap they put and list on the packaging of their products. And that we're about gettin' healthy.

So, here's my challenge to you friends. Quit the mainstream foods. Look above and below the middle shelf at the grocery store. Pay the extra dollar for something a little more healthy. You're body will appreciate it. And then, just then, you'll know that you just screwed over the big-guy for something you know is better for ya body.

Wesley

P.S. You can pronounce every ingredient in a Snicker's bar... but all things in moderation pumpkins.

Coolest Fountain Ever

2010-07-23T23:02:00.000-07:00

Readers... I'm really trying my hardest to keep this blog about nothing by weight loss, but had, JUST HAD, to share this with you. It's the coolest thing I've seen in a long time.

Located in a Japanese mall called Canal City, this fountain is programmed immaculately to paint the air with falling water. Sorry for the sidetrack here, but you have got to check this out:

Inspiration Eye Candy

2010-07-23T22:31:00.000-07:00

Pants, Pants, Pants...

2010-07-21T23:12:00.000-07:00

Or, as Lady Gaga would put it, Boys... Boys... Boys...

Alright readers... since my last two posts had absolutely nothing to do with weight loss and everything to do with men and their good parts, I thought I'd give you a post with some substance. And I have good news to report!

At the start of this week, I made a bold decision and decided to pull a pair of size 32 dress pants off the hanger and try them on when getting ready for work. I hadn't worn the pants since 2003, when I was at my skinniest. As I posted on a comment over here (great blog!), there was a point in time when I went through my closet and violently created a pile of clothes to throw away. Every single piece was from back in my skinny days, when I was able to wear small-sized shirts, small-sized underwear, and small-sized pants. It was a small-sized party... and frumpy, that bitch, wasn't invited.

At the time, I was thinking to myself "I'm never going to fit into these damn things again, so why keep them around... I might as well toss them out with the... hey, is that a mini snickers over there?" This is when my diet consisted of entire boxes of macaroni and cheese for lunch, cheese pizza, triple whoppers, thousands upon thousands of french fries, gravy-drenched chicken fried steak, half-bag dinners of tortilla chips and queso, butter and green beans (my "healthy snack"), Snickers ice cream bars for desert, and cookies and sugar-slathered granola bars for snacks at work. My diet was a total joke, and at the time... I didn't care. I was ready to remove every item and memory from the "good ol' days" and continue on with eating like a total piglet. "After all", I told myself, "I had only gained a few pounds and was still able to hide behind the baggy comfort of the hoodies I wore". Only a few pounds, my ass (literally).

Later that night, after I had finished a dinner of Hamburger Helper and Pasta-Roni, I picked every piece of clothing up from the floor and hung them back up. I had no idea why I was doing it, or for what reason. I had no intention of wearing them again. EVER. The reason, most likely, was because I was thinking about how incredibly awful and demanding it would be to pack them into plastic bags and haul them, and my fat ass, out to the dumpster.

Either way, it was a damn good thing I kept them around. Because when I slipped my cute little gay ass into a size 32 on Monday morning, and was able to buckle them shut, I felt like a million dollars. I said to myself, outloud, "Go girl..." Literally. I had a 100% super-ultra-mega-gay moment. It was the best and most productive day I've ever had at work.

You guys and gals... I cannot even begin to express how excited I was, and have been, to slip those pants on every morning. It feels... so good. They're a little snug, but they fit. THEY. FIT. I really feel like I am on my way back to the good 'ol days of being comfortable in the clothes I wear and not limited on what I can try on.

With this in mind friends, keep your focus on losing weight and getting in shape. The most simple rewards can be the most, well... rewarding. For me, this moment represents the best I've felt since choosing to put better things in my body. Keep up the great work, because you all know you're doing great!

AND, I hope this story is inspirational to each and every one of you, because that's it's intent. I also hope you all are having a fantastic week full of healthy eating, wonderful workouts, and incredible amounts of unbelievable sex with multiple partners who you hardly know (but totally trust).

Air hug! (and tomorrow a celery stick with extra crunchy peanut butter).

Possibly Useless Information

2010-07-21T22:15:00.000-07:00

2012 is now available to watch instantly on NetFlix! This is totally exciting readers, because it's one of the most incredible movies... uhm... ever.

It would only cost you a twenty dollar bill to subscribe to Men's Health for a year. That's cheap, yo!

I hit my numbers at work, meaning I get a $1,000 bonus on my next paycheck! :-) Of which will be taxed at 43% :-(

One of my best friends, Jesse, has been secretly losing weight and following a diet plan behind my back. Go Jesse! And eff you for not sharing!

Lindsay Lohan will serve only 14 days of her 90 day sentence. Big surprise? Not really.

Betty White gets her own hoodie. Mine's on order, and will (hopefully) arrive before my TeaBag.

Inspiration Eye Candy

2010-07-21T20:31:00.000-07:00

TeaBag

2010-07-21T20:19:00.000-07:00

For all of you healthy tea drinkers out there, these folks have made brewing it much, much more fun for you. And at only twelve bucks, mine's already on it's way.

Let's Play a Game!

2010-07-19T23:26:00.000-07:00

So, readers! There's this game I'm addicted to. It's called Words With Friends. It's an online, pseudo-version of Scrabble® (but not endorsed, created, developed, or sponsored by Hasbro®) and is the coolest thing in the entire world. It's available on the iPhone, iPod Touch, iPad, and Facebook!

What do you all think about starting our own version of this game and calling it "Healthy Words With Friends." The name is cheesy, I know. If you all can come up with a better name, please let me know. Because that's all I got for now.

Here are the rules I propose:

1. Only words that relate to weight loss and fitness can be used.

2. Proper nouns are allowed, as long as they reference a fitness figure, place to get in shape, etc.

3. Prepositions, nouns, and verbs are allowed

4. Only food names that promote healthy weight loss can be used (i.e. corn, carrot, fruit, apple, etc.)

5. No cheating.

What do you all think!? This could be a fun game we all use to keep ourselves in check when thinking about food. Also, any suggestions on the rules are totally accepted.

Let me know what cha all think!

P.S. My username on Words With Friends is Wesfucious. :-)

A Few Yummy Snacks For My Readers!

2010-07-19T22:45:00.000-07:00

No, friends. I'm sorry. I'm not available for snacking on... yet. ;-)

For those of you watching your carb intake, I'm sure you've realized how incredibly hard it is to find snacky foods. Especially since most of them tend to be things like potato chips, puffed-corn products, breaded products, and other items that are chock full of sugar and carbs.

I wanted to share with you all some of my all-time favorite snackies that are low-carb and incredibly easy to make and just as incredibly easy to eat! Some of these things require no prep, as well. Which is fabulous and super-ultra-mega-gay. These are a few additions to my previous list of favorite foods. But remember, everything in moderation. Don't overdo it on these items, pumpkins. There is such a thing as turning your healthy snacking into unhealthy snacking!

Yummy McYum Face:

- Super Crunch Peanut Butter and Celery

- Super Crunch Peanut Butter spread over a Mission Low-Carb Tortilla

- Roasted Almonds

- Sunflower Seeds

- French's® French Fried Onions (believe it or not, only 3g carbs per serving! Thank god, right? But don't overdo it on these... the fat content is pretty high for the serving size. But it'll totally satisfy any craving for the crunchy and the onion ringy! I recommend a small handful.)
- A Slice or Two of Cheese off Your Favorite Block.

- Salad!
- Dill Pickles
- Pumpkin Seeds
- Cottage Cheese
- Cucumbers and Light Italian Dressing
- A Few Slices of Turkey Bacon

If anyone has anything to add to this list, please comment and let me know. I'd love to find new items to snack my face on.

A Word Is Worth a Thousand Calories

2010-07-19T21:44:00.000-07:00

Yo readers! Before doing anything, you need to visit Jenn's blog and check out the sexy outfits she tried on at Express over the weekend. Damn girl!

Now, I want to write to you all about a word that you need to remove from your vocabulary... right now. You need to write this word off for good. Say goodbye to it. Throw it in the garbage. Toss it out the window. Completely delete it from your mind. At least when it comes to losing weight and getting in shape.

What's the word? The word is "should". That's right... should. If you speak other languages, remove it from that vocabulary as well. It's one of the worst words in the world. And you will never use it again.

Why, you ask?

How many times have you used this word when doing things that you that you know aren't OK? "I shouldn't be eating this...", "I should go to the gym...", "I should really go to bed and stop looking for naked pictures of Paul Walker on the internet...". Readers... do you know what this word implies!? It implies the intention, or plan to do something. It's a verb (thanks School House Rock!). It represents an action you intend or don't intend to do. Stop using this word and replace it with a "will". "I will not eat this...", "I will go to the gym...", "I will stop looking for pictures that don't exist...".

Trust me... it will make those tough situations much more easy to deal with. Especially when it comes to eating. And while your holding that plate of birthday cake, getting ready to down a giant soda, or chomp into a gravy-plastered chicken fried steak, tell yourself that you have the WILL to not do it. That you will not give in to that temptation. That with your will, you will achieve success in your weight loss goals and that eating unhealthy foods will not help you achieve what you want most in life.

I've done my best to remove this word from my general vocabulary, and I challenge each and every one of you to do the same! It gives me incredible strength when it comes to overcoming situations where I feel like I'm teetering on the edge of doing something bad. It's amazing what we can achieve when we put our pretty little brains to it, and each and everyone of you are proof of that.

Here's to a week of great eating and forgetting a word we've come too accustomed to using!

Muah!

Inspiration Eye Candy

2010-07-19T19:51:00.000-07:00

Everyone, the only reason I am getting in shape is so that I can look incredibly hot in lavender...

A Few of My Favorite Things

2010-07-15T23:39:00.000-07:00

Readers! Sorry for no blog posts last night. I was busy watching over 210 pounds of dog (no joke) for a friend and didn't have a chance to actually sit down and put some thought into what I wanted to write about.

Anyway, today at work one of my associates and I got to talking about the things we most enjoy in life. She mentioned many things, including her family (of seven), her grandfather, and the fact that she cannot wait to meet her creator when she passes along. And it got me thinking... because, besides my family and good friends, I couldn't immediately think of any other things that make me so happy to be on this great earth and living life. As I thought about our conversation more throughout the work day and after I arrived at home, I realized countless things and experiences that make me so happy to be here and alive. And I realized that my weight loss and drive to get in shape is directly related to these things that make me so happy. These things, in fact, are the reasons why I want to experience life to the fullest and are behind my causes to preserve my life.

I'd like to share these with you. Now, I know you're all thinking: That's it's going to be the obvious crap, like getting off, eating 8 pounds of marshmallows, getting drunk, the smell of french fries, and the sound of my hot neighbor having incredible sex with his beautiful wife. I'm sorry to disappoint, but I tried to dig a little deeper than just the surface. Some of these things may seem really simple and stupid, but they're what really blow my hair back (when it's long enough), and I've decided to slap this list on my fridge, so that it's staring at my face every time I go to eat something. It's a simple reminder for why I want to eat right, eat healthy, and get myself in shape. Here are a few of them, in no particular order, except for number one:

1. My Mother - I'm not playing favorites with family, but I love my mother more than anything in this world. I would do anything for her and don't know what I would do without her. It always pisses me off when she says "I Love You" before I get the chance to say it first.

2. Family and Friends... experiences with these people is priceless!

3. Waking up and realizing I still have more time to sleep.

4. Music, especially from a man with a smooth, strong voice.

5. The smell of the house I grew up in.

6. Wearing clothes I haven't been able to fit into for years, with no muffin top or beer belly.

7. Hearing my favorite song on the radio.

8. Back and foot massages.

9. The sound of ice clinking around in a glass of lemonade on a scorching, hot day.

10. Making someone cry for all the good reasons.

11. Payday!!

12. Putting my contacts in after waking up and feeling like they aren't even there.

13. Walking into my dark, toasty-warm house on a snowy, wintry day and lying down on the couch with only the sound of my furnace humming in the background.

14. Laughter coming from the people I care about most.

15. Giving myself chills before falling asleep.

So... there they are readers. Just a few of the reasons why I am trying so hard to preserve my life here on planet earth. I've also realized that after creating my list of favorite experiences, that I try my hardest to place myself in situations that allow me to experience them. Obviously, it's just human nature to ensure our own happiness, and all of us are well on our way to extending our ability to experience our favorite moments in life by losing weight and getting in shape, which is an awesome feeling just in itself.

So readers, what blows your hair back? Share with me what some of your most favorite life experiences are, and slap those things on a sheet of paper and stare at them each and every day!

2010-07-15T23:37:00.000-07:00

Here's some more great music that gets my blood pumpin' on the gym floor and on those treadmills (and sometimes in the bedroom... but, we'll save that for another post, mKay?). Enjoy!

NoMoreBacon's Habanero Chicken Sausage Omelette

2010-07-15T22:10:00.000-07:00

I had to share this all with you. It's from here. Go check this dude out and then immediately surrender to this quick, easy, totally healthy omelette. As I told him, it's a good thing I just got paid, because I'm hittin up Costco tomorrow and buying 8,000 pounds of this. YUM!

This Blog Was Posted Using REAL Words!

2010-07-14T00:22:00.000-07:00

Yes, that's right readers. This blog post was produced using REAL words. 100% all natural words, no substitutes, preservatives, and only a limited amount of spell check.

How many of you have run across the food packages that proudly proclaim:

"Made with REAL cheese!"

"Made with REAL chicken!"

"Made with REAL beef!"

"Made with REAL beans!"

Or, even worse:

"New, improved formula!"

Real chicken, real beef, and new, improved FORMULA? What. The. Eff. Is the food we are consuming turning into the new Britney Spears song? How processed, milled, mutilated, mixed, and modified is the food we are consuming? It worries me that meal-producing companies are actually slapping these phrases on their products. Is it because they're trying to make them sound more healthy? Because I'm pretty sure I've seen these claims on boxes of Hamburger Helper, Hot Pockets, and various frozen pasta and rice dinners from OnCor and Michelina's.

Shouldn't it be a requirement that companies actually use REAL food in all the meals they provide? Obviously not, because there's things like Cheez Whiz, Taco Bell dinners outside of the refrigerated section, and Velveeta.

Readers... things that normally belong in the fridge should STAY IN THE FRIDGE! And things that normally have a shelf life of only a few weeks should HAVE A SHELF LIFE OF ONLY A FEW WEEKS! No, it is not OK to consume "cheese" out of an aerosol can, nor is it acceptable to chow down on a Taco Bell meal off the grocery store shelf.

If you're craving some Mexican, cheesy goodness, grab a pound of ground turkey, a block of cheddar cheese, some crunchy lettuce, a delicious tomato, an onion, some low-fat sour cream, and some taco seasoning. Then, walk your ass home, chop it up, cook it up, simmer it, dress it (lightly with the cheese and sour cream, yo!), and then roll up a delicious burrito using a low-carb Mission tortilla!

You're taste buds will love it, and you're body (and waste line!) will show their appreciation.

Guilty Confession #1

2010-07-13T23:29:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, when I'm feelin' really dirty, I eat pork rinds dipped in ranch dressing. And like it.

Beauty Fades... But Stupid is Forever

2010-07-12T23:34:00.000-07:00

I read an interesting article over at Shout Out Health today that really put some things into perspective for me. The article dealt with a letter the site had received from one their readers who said he was a very good looking gay man and can't seem to make any friends as a result of it... that everyone he meets just wants to get his sexy ass in the sack.

The site responded, I think, appropriately, telling the stud horse that soon his looks will fade, that he needs to check himself, and make sure that he's offering up more than just his looks. Because if he doesn't have anything more than that to offer, that all the shallow boys will stick around and the good ones will float on by.

The writer also touched on the subject on how life can tend to be a little easier for the better looking people, how people use their looks to manipulate every day situations, and how attractive women handle themselves differently than men do. He states:

Watch how they handle themselves. These women do things that may sometimes appear rude, but later you realize their behavior is adaptive. They may not make eye contact with some. They may appear focused on something or someone else. They dress according to the circumstance and never in a way that is out of place or out of context. They don't look around to see who is looking at them, they understand that attention is on them always and act accordingly. They send out subtle signals that they are not available – except to their companions to whom they give their undivided attention. When approached, they politely decline and return to what they were doing. They treat others, whether it is a corporate mogul or service person, with dignity and respect – but not flirtation. They use their beauty when they need to, but put it back in their holster immediately. They project and ease and confidence that both make them appear comfortable yet unapproachable. Watch and learn.

I couldn't agree more. I strongly believe that more doors tend to open, things come much more easily, and life in general is easier for more attractive people. And, unfortunately, a lot of these people use their looks as a way to get ahead. And, for a lot of them, it just happens because of the public's fixation on that perfect, skinny body. It's maddening at times, but c'est la vie, right?

I have one specific person who I work with who is an absolute paragon. Just a beautiful, beautiful person. When I first met her, I sized her up to be the typical, arrogant jerk who knew how hot they were, refused to converse or even be seen with people who aren't as beautiful as themselves, and walk around with a huge chip on their shoulder. She's one of my leasing consultants.

When I first interviewed her, I was like... "This girl is full of drama. She used to work in a bar, ugh! She's a fast talker. She probably dresses like a total whore when she goes out. Five bucks says all her friends look exactly like her. I bet her boyfriend's hotter than hell." Well, it turns out I was right about only one of those things... her boyfriend.

But anyway, one night she texted me out the blue and asked if herself and her best friend Sarah could join us out at the bars. She had been working for us for about a week when this happened, and being the awesome assistant manager that I am, I told her "Absolutely!" I was worried though. I was telling myself "she's gunna bring all these skinny, squeaky-voiced bitches to the bar who are going to be barely dressed and making a total fool of themselves." Again, I was wrong. Her friend Sarah was not a skinny bitch, but a little heavier, and an absolute sweetheart. Great smile, awesome personality, and totally fun! They both were dressed in a pair of jeans and some fun t-shirts they had bought for going out. Nothing incredibly fancy or revealing... just fun. And while we were out, my co-worker tactfully ignored all the straight men checking her out (at the gay bar!)... and focused on the people who she was out with. TOTALLY COOL. I was so impressed with her. She successfully restored the faith, and destroyed the stereotype, I had for women who are absolutely flawless and know it. And after our night of fun, I believed she was good people and liked being around people like herself: folks who had more to offer than what was just on the surface.

I found out a few weeks later she used to weigh over 250 pounds, had zero friends, and had been the odd girl out for years upon years.

Readers, as we lose weight and get in shape, it's important to remember where we once were in our lives. That we weren't the hottest thing in the club or someone who could even begin to think of using our looks to our advantage. My co-worker hasn't forgotten, and I just want to share the inspiration she's given me for the future. All too often we run across the hotties who hang around only the hottest of the Hottie McHot faces, and I'm proud knowing that I will be as comfortable hanging out with anyone and everyone who is good on the inside, no matter what they look like on the outside.

Inspiration Eye Candy

2010-07-12T21:13:00.001-07:00

YEEEEAAAAH! Get it girl...

Y Not?

2010-07-12T20:35:00.000-07:00

Say goodbye to the YMCA readers! The Young Mens Christian Association announced a major change about to go underway at their recreation centers across America.

One of the nation’s most iconic nonprofit organizations, founded 166 years ago in England as the Young Men’s Christian Association, is undergoing a major rebranding, adopting as its name the nickname everyone has used for generations.

“It’s a way of being warmer, more genuine, more welcoming, when you call yourself what everyone else calls you,” said Kate Coleman, the organization’s senior vice president and chief marketing officer.

Hopefully this doesn't upset too many Christians who choose to use The Y because of that one important word in the organization's name. Sorry Village People, now your song really is obsolete.

Low Carb Chicken Salad!

2010-07-11T23:28:00.000-07:00

What's up readers! OK, so... here's my first video blog. Kinda lame, but... it's my first one, so cut me some slack, mKay? It's my low-carb chicken salad, which is TITANICALLY delicious and waaaay easy to make. Here's the rec-to-the-pee:

9 - 10oz of roasted chicken

2 hard-boiled eggs

Low-fat mayo and Dijon mustard (light additions of both!)

2 diced Claussen pickles (three, if you're a pickle whore like me)

Salt and Pepper (to taste)

Spiced Dill

Obviously, boil the eggs first, cool those bitches down in the fridge, and then mix all of the ingredients together. Cool it down in the fridge for at least eight hours (warm chicken salad is naaaasty) and then munch away! It's that simple! Any additions on your end are always welcome. Let me know what you all think!

McDonald's®

2010-07-11T23:01:00.000-07:00

You're Lovin' it? Not really... right? Well I am, readers... and let me tell you why.

I'm sure many of you view McDonald's as the most evil fast food corporation in America. After all, they made people fat (and almost got sued for it), burned folks with their hot coffee (and almost got sued for that, too), and pioneered the Super Size, King Size, and Biggie Size meals at each and every fast food joint across America.

Here's the deal with me and McDonald's. Before a little while ago, i viewed the place as one of the worse places to eat. I believed their food was of the lowest quality and that they served their customers the crap that nobody else wanted to eat.

But, after the release of Super Size Me, and thundering through two of the most ridiculous lawsuits ever (as referenced above), I think the corporation took a long, hard look at the food they were serving America and finally realized their menu was incredibly unhealthy and unbalanced. And, at that point, took the opportunity to offer up healthier options, blatantly display the nutrition facts of each product on that product's packaging, and made available to the public nutrition information on the restaurant's entire menu.

Like it or not readers, McDonald's did, in fact, set a standard for every other fast food joint. And that standard was offering up healthier options and making available to it's customers information on the food they were consuming. Long before side salads and apple fries, the only side options available on fast food menus was french fries and other deep-fried foods. Thanks to Mickey D's and Morgan Spurlock, other fast food restaurants started offering healthier options to it's customers.

I'll be honest... I enjoy the food I get from McDonald's. It's always piping hot, always prepared correctly, is fresh, and, by far and away, is delivered with the most fabulous customer service ever received from a fast food joint. The employees at McDonald's always seem to be in good spirits and happy to serve... which is a rare find in the industry.

I know you all think I'm crazy, but I believe that because McDonald's has been sitting in the unhealthy spotlight for so long and at such a massive level, they have been the most active in improving the quality and delivery of their products. And, to be honest, the grilled chicken salads I get from McDonald's are of far better quality than any other fast food joint. The lettuce is always crisp, the chicken is always perfectly grilled, and its always delivered in a perfectly appointed little baggy, complete with a fork, knife, and my requested dressing. And to top it all off, the regular grilled chicken salad has almost no carbs. Hip, hip, hooray!

If you're ever in the mood for a fast meal, check out a McDonald's grilled chicken salad, readers. You could be surprised!

Workout Music!

2010-07-09T03:00:00.000-07:00

Yo, readers! Happy Friday! T to the GIF! Alright now... it's the weekend, which means all of you skinny, hot bitches are gunna be out at the cluuuuub get your freakin' on. When I'm out, I'm always listening for good songs to get in shape to. Here are some of my favorites!

KFC Double Down Sandwich

2010-07-05T22:22:00.000-07:00

Alright... this sandwich is nothing new. When KFC introduced this new addition to their menu, low-carb eaters across the entire planet immediately phoned the KFC closest to their home to ensure they could order it with grilled patties rather than fried.

Please, readers... do not order the grilled version of this sandwich and consider it okey dokey under low-carb. The grilled version is still packed with 460 calories, 24 g's of fat, and 1430 mg's of sodium. There's only one way to eat this sandwich and actually feel somewhat good about it: order it without the cheese, bacon, and colonel sauce. Then you're down to 360 calories, 8 g's of fat, and 880 mg's of sodium. I know what you're all thinking: "Wes... you loser. That's just two grilled chicken breast patties." That's right readers, it is. So you might as well just order that and pay less than you would for the double down. Unless you're ordering in hopes they'll forget to take off the cheese. Or something.

Hope this helps! And no, KFC does not genetically engineer the chickens served from their restaurants.

So. About this Weekend...

2010-07-05T21:52:00.000-07:00

I spent it getting drunk. Happy fourth, everyone! I hope your weekend was long and wonderful (that's what he said).

AND... even after all the eating out I did, which involved watching friends down plates of french fries, grilled sandwiches, cookies, nachos, chicken fingers, and the like, I had no problem sticking to low carb! It felt great responding to all the "uh! I'm so full", "I ate waaaay too much", and "my heartburn is killing me!" comments with a simple "not me. I feel GREAT! Pass over that pitcher of beer."

I will admit, however, I did fall off the Michelob Ultra 2.6g carbs-per-serving train a few times, but only when the options available were Bud Light and Coors Light.

Now, I know what you're all thinking. "Hey, wait a minute! I thought this was a getting-in-shape blog. This dude's talking about going on three-day drinking binges and downing pitchers of beer. That's not healthy!" No, readers. It's not. And trust me, I was paying for it this morning. But this is something you should know about me. I love beer. And I love Michelob for designing one that fits better into my lifestyle than say... Coors Light and Bud Light. It's got almost 70% less carbohydrates, and that's a big difference! But lets not make this post all about alcohol, mKay? I'll write something interesting about low-carb drinking another time. Probably while I'm drunk.

Anyway, as I was saying, I felt pretty damn good this weekend being able to resist all the goodies thrown my way. I think a lot of my success in eating right over the weekend fell back on the situations I put myself in. I knew this weekend was going to get a little expensive, so for lunch and dinner I made sure I ate home... just to save money and keep myself from getting tempted. Then, for our ritualistic after-the-bar breakfast pig-out, I made sure I was only going to places where I knew I could properly eat. One of my favorite places is a local diner in the heart of capital hill (or, as we like to call it... the gayborhood) called Barracuda's. They have the best homemade green chili EVER, the service is outstanding, and the coffee is perfectly brewed. My meal, each and every time I visit, is a delicious salad as an appetizer loaded with red onions and a grilled beef patty with a side of green chili for the meal. It's delicious. Delicious. Delicious. I'm getting all excited and gooshey just thinking about it.

A lot of restaurants used to cater to low-carb peeps by creating and advertising dishes on their menu that were low-carb friendly. I'm sure many of you have seen those dishes sort of disappear in the past few years. For what reason? Probably because the low-carb fad is over. But whatever, it doesn't matter because us bitches can modify anything to hell so it fits nice any neatly into our lifestyles, right!? Right! We can even go to Taco Bell if we're feeling like having diarrhea the next day, ordering a taco salad and dumping everything out of that crunchy, delicious taco shell onto a plate, and enjoying our non-bloated fabulousness. Cuz we're that good.

Finding new places to eat correctly is something I really enjoy doing. It gives me a feeling of accomplishing even more in my quest to lose weight. It's like turning a menu into a puzzle and going on a safari to find all the right pieces to make a complete and perfect picture for my taste buds and appetite.

I have a lot of favorite places to eat where I can modify their dishes to make them totally delicious and low carb:

OLD CHICAGO
Appetizer: House salad (it comes with almonds!) with any low-fat or low-carb dressing.
Meal: Chicken Alfredo, substitute pasta with broccoli.

Ordering Tip: Ask for the Alfredo on the side. It will allow you to control how much you eat (because Alfredo sauce really isn't that healthy) and the water from the cooked broccoli tends to water the sauce down A LOT.

TGIFRIDAY'S
Appetizer: House salad (no almonds... boo!) with any low-fat or low-carb dressing.
Meal: Two grilled chicken patties with a side of mustard or Tabasco drizzled on top and steamed, seasonal veggies. You really could do this meal anywhere, but I've found it to be cheaper at TGIFriday's.

RED ROBIN
Appetizer: House salad (are you seeing a trend here?) with any low-fat or low-carb dressing.
Meal: Grilled chicken or turkey burger, protein style (fancy word for lettuce wrapped). You can substitute the fries for your house salad.

Ordering Tip: Make sure when you ask for your salad, that you order it without the deep-fried tortilla strips. Their side salads are LOADED with these, and you'll look like a monkey picking these out of the salad. Especially if you eat each piece after successfully digging it out.

OLIVE GARDEN
Appetizer: Their salad... duh! If there's any place you should be getting a salad, it's here damnit!
Meal: Chicken Marsala or Chicken Scampi, substitute pasta on both with steamed veggies. The Chicken Marsala is a bit healthier, as it's not a cream sauce.

I know seems like a bit of side-salad overkill here, but the fact is there really isn't much options when it comes to appetizers for low-carb diets, other than chicken wings (which are soaked in a buttery hot sauce and served with blue cheese dressing) or spinach-artichoke dip, which is in a creamy cheese sauce and is generally served with bread. These are low-carb options, but keep in mind they are high in fat and that some places may not be able to substitute celery for bread.

So, there are some quick tips for eating out. Do any of you have any places where you can modify a meal to make it fit better with your diet? If so, share them and I'll post them up with my next update!

Here's some pictures from this weekend. I had some great times with one of my best friends, Chris. My double chin is almost gone! And I'm down two pounds!

Inspiration Eye Candy

2010-07-05T21:34:00.000-07:00

Here's the first porny post readers! Bodies like this inspire me to eat correctly and get a workout plan put together. I don't want my arms bigger than my torso, but I definately want definition like this and proof that I wasn't born without any abdominal muscles. Enjoy!

Colorado is the Skinniest US State

2010-07-05T20:51:00.000-07:00

Not according to my waistline! But, whatever. I'm well on my way to joining the ranks with the skinny bitches of this State. Maybe that's why I haven't been laid in so long? Because everyone's skinny and I'm not?

That's it... I'm no longer losing weight for myself. I'm doing it so I can get laid like a porn star.

Just kidding. Sort of. But, in all seriousness, a recent survey by The Trust for America's Health shows Colorado as the skinniest state, with only 19% of it's adults over-weight. Apparently, high altitude, rock climbing, snowboarding, skiing, hiking, camping, lumber jacking, and jogging up huge, mountainous hills is good for your health!

Go Colorado. Now readers from other states... it's your job to help your state's number fall, fall, fall!

Google to Pay Gay Employees Extra to Make Up for Tax Inequalities

2010-07-01T22:59:00.000-07:00

If this doesn't make a statement about how a company cares more for it's employees than a government does for it's own citizens, I don't know what will:

Under federal law, employer-provided health benefits for domestic partners are counted as taxable income, if the partner is not considered a dependent. The tax owed is based on the value of the partner’s coverage paid by the employer.
On average, employees with domestic partners will pay about $1,069 more a year in taxes than a married employee with the same coverage, according to a 2007 report by M. V. Lee Badgett, director of the Williams Institute, a research group that studies sexual orientation policy issues.
So Google is essentially going to cover those costs, putting same-sex couples on an even footing with heterosexual employees whose spouses and families receive health benefits.
The company began to look at the disparity after a gay employee pointed it out, said Laszlo Bock, Google’s vice president for people operations (also known as human resources). Google, by the way, says its benefits team seriously considers any suggestions on how to expand its coverage
“We said, ‘You’re right, that doesn’t seem fair,’ so we looked into it,” Mr. Bock said. “From that initial suggestion, we said, let’s take a look at all the benefits we offer and see if we are being truly fair across the board.” As a result, the company also decided to make a few other changes that would help gay employees, including eliminating a one-year waiting period before qualifying for infertility benefits and including domestic partners in its family leave policy — going beyond the federal Family and Medical Leave Act, which requires employers to provide up to 12 weeks’ leave in a one-year period to recover from a medical condition or to care for a relative.

I would love to see a ripple effect follow this move. Then maybe, just MAYBE, our government will get the bigger picture.

Whoa!

2010-07-01T22:39:00.000-07:00

Cheers to my seven new followers! It took my last blog like... three months to reach that! Thanks for following, readers!

I wanted to touch base a bit more on where this blog will be going, what to expect, what kind of crap will be posted on here, blah, blah, blah.

No doubt this is this a blog about getting in shape (we covered that earlier, right?). I'm hoping to update this fancy thang about five times per week and to have several posts during that time. I'll try to keep them short and to the point, but sometimes I have a habit of rambling on. So feel free to comment at any time with a "Wes, could you shut up for a quick second..." or a "Too much information, dude. Too. Much. Information. Yawn." I promise it won't hurt my feelings.

Now, since I'm gay, I could slather this blog in rainbows and unicorns. Am I going to do that? Hell no. That's not me. Am I going to talk about gay news and other things that revolve around the gay spectrum? Probably, because that's who I am. And don't be surprised if you find updates every now and then that include pictures of disgustingly hot men. It's called inspiration (or a lame excuse to peruse the internet looking for pictures of disgustingly hot men and share them with other people). I promise though, no porny, nekkid stuff! And, since I'm a total music whore, you'll find posts of music that I really enjoy working out to. And in between all of THAT, you'll find a potpourri of posts that relate to me, losing weight, and getting in shape.

I want this blog to provoke inspiration, for both myself and my readers. I want this blog to hold me accountable. And most importantly, I want this blog to be FUN. Feedback and opinions on my posts are always welcome... I like to know what's going through your pretty little brains as you read through my posts. So please comment away.

I have a ton of things I want to write about (I think I'm going to have to make a list), and I'm not quite sure where to start. I guess I'll give you guys a snapshot of what I'm doing to stay low-carb:

When it comes to eating, I like it to be easy... like my men. So when lunch or dinner time arrives, I'm usually in the kitchen, in and out of the fridge and cubbyholes, grabbing all sorts of things to make a meal. Here are just a FEW things I love to make that are low carb, easy, and totally satisfying:

- Lunch meat (usually ham or turkey) rolled up and dipped in some mustard.
- Cottage Cheese
- Egg Salad or Chicken Salad
- Green Beans Heated in a little Vodka Sauce
- Baby Pickles (I could gorge myself of these. I LOVE pickles).
- Romane Lettuce and Celery in a little Ranch Dressing

- Seasoned, pre-grilled Chicken Breast
- Omelets (which have endless possibilities for add-ins)
- Hamburger Patty with Ketchup, Mustard, and a little Mayo
- Cucumbers in Italian Dressing
- Low-Carb Yogurt or Ice Cream
- Peanuts to snack on
- Sugar-Free Jell-o Products
- Turkey Hot Dogs
- And, of course, Diet Pepsi (woot woot!)

Now, I know that doesn't look like much of a list, but like I said before, these are things that are quick and easy for me to make. I'm sure that if I really put my mind to it, I could make a poached duck with lemongrass and chili-lime sauce, complimented by rum-dipped squash fantabulous and a figberry walnut salad with raspberry rhubarb dressing and poppy seed-crusted egg marmalade. But I don't have time for that. Or the patience. The reason why low carb works well for me is that it doesn't require a lot of my time and is easy to figure out. And, as always, with every good list, comes a bad list. These are things I try to eat a minimal amount of:

- Beef
- Peanut Butter
- Sugar Free Candies (have you ever over-ate on these? Sugar alcohols are not fun in excess).
- Very salty foods and seasonings
- Sour Cream
- Whipped Cream
- Blocked and Shredded Cheese
- Broth Soups (because of sodium content)
- Coffee Creamers
- Bacon

I try to cut out as much fat as possible while still maintaining some sort of flavor in my foods. Eating mostly lean meats and cutting out the creams and the cheeses that are easy to dress things with really helps me do that. I know it's easy to sit at the fridge and aerosol the ReddiWhip directly into your mouth, but you have to admit... there's something wrong with that being right. Just like people who think doing low carb consists of being able to sit down with ten pounds of bacon for lunch and calling it a way to lose weight. Low-Carb diets are highly criticized, and I really believe there is a way to do it that's healthy and effective. It can't always be all high-fat, high-protien, low-carb, all of the time. For me, I've found it best to mix it up! Additionally, eating too much meat really does a job on the body's digestive system... it's hard for it to process all that meat without any additional "stuff" to mix it with.

As for the bad stuff, every now and then I'll sneak in a little bit of sugar or starch into my diet. I think it's important to do that, because for people like us who have lived for so many years eating whatever we've wanted, it's absolute torture to hear a friend crunch into that french fry or scrape the last bits of cheesecake off their plate. It's the food we grew up (and out) on, and for me, it's what's ingrained in my brain. A lot of diets include "cheat days" (like Body for Life), which allow you to eat whatever you want all day long. Nuh huh, not here honey. If I had a cheat day, I'd do it right and eat everything in sight! If I'm going to sneak something in that shouldn't be there, I'm going to do it once and be done. And do it only once or twice a week and at a minimum. For example, if I'm feelin' a little frisky, I steal one fry and call it done. Or, if I need a sugar fix, I'll chow down on a bite-size Snickers. It's what keeps me sane and away from binging myself to an oblivion. For me, it feels much better to control myself and my eating than it does satisfying my taste buds with all the foods from my past.

So, there you have it! Hopefully this post wasn't full of a bunch of crap information that you readers already knew. I know that us on diets tend to know the entire thing inside out, but I like to think this post will offer up a little information that you didn't know, forgot about, or even inspired you to give low carb a try.

Let me know how I did on my first post about weight loss and inspiration and happy, healthy eating!

Setting the Scene

2010-06-30T21:44:00.000-07:00

We've all gotta start somewhere. I want everyone to know where this is all coming from and where it will be going. This blog is about me, my life, and my goals in losing weight and learning how to get in shape. It's meant to inspire me, inspire you, and provide some good humor along the way. And, to open this blog, I've decided to give you all a little background on myself and where my life made a big turn.

Throughout my high school and college years, I never really considered myself to be a fitness freak, the hottest guy at the party, or even someone who lived an active lifestyle. During those times, I grew very accustomed to fast food places like Burger King, Carl's Jr., and Taco Bell, and the convenience those places offered. I ate whatever I wanted to, whenever I wanted to and didn't think twice about the effects on my waste line or my health. After all, I had a couple of boyfriends at the time who never mentioned a word about my body or how out of shape I actually was. I was comfortable with myself and the way I looked.

After leaving Colorado Springs to live in Denver, my eating habits didn't change much, but my life very much did. I moved in with my best friend Jennifer, of the ExHotGirl, jumped from job to job, slept on a blow-up mattress in the living room, used the coat closet as a clothes closet, racked up thousands of dollars in credit card debt, and ate and ate and ate and ate. At the time, Jennifer and I enjoyed eating out constantly. We made frequent visits to the Cheesecake Factory, Johnny Carinos, MiMi's Cafe, and every other restaurant in-between. And while I was racking up the credit card debt, I was racking up the pounds as well. I was blind to the weight I gained because I still got hit on at the bar and still had a few steady relationships with men who never once complained about the weight I had gained.

I eventually found my own place after finding work with a company who I wasted three years of my life with. It was a desk job that required minimal, if that, physical work and was surrounded by cookies, sodas, snacks, and weekly lunches from the Olive Garden. After those three years, I found myself swimming in over $27,000 in debt and weighing over 200 pounds at the age of 24. I decided it was time to make a change.

I remember it vividly... Jenn, Jesse, and I were eating dinner at Carraba's. Jenn was explaining to me this new diet she discovered called Atkins. She described what was allowed in the diet, what wasn't, how it worked, and how well it worked. I was hooked (especially when she said that Ranch dressing was allowed!). At that moment, her and I vowed to go into the diet together. And it was phenomenal. It was during this time, after trying countless diets and spending hundreds upon hundreds of dollars on gym memberships, that I realized a low-carb lifestyle was for me. My heartburn was gone. That bloated, too-full feeling was gone, and my gut was shrinking. It was easy to follow, fool-proof, and made eating decisions easy to make and it required no planning. I went from almost 215 pounds to just under 145 in a 9 month period. Mostly, you can see it in my face in these pictures. At the time, I always wore black because, you know... it's slimming:

Before:

In Utah, circa 2006. My Heaviest ::

Utah Again ::

Daniel's Grad Party. Chowing Down On Cake ::

____________________________________________________________________

At My Skinniest. Circa 2004 ::

Me and the ExHotGirl, At Our Skinniest ::

A Little Weight Gain in 2005, But Still Looking Good ::

At the end of 2004, I was the most confident I'd ever been in my life. I went from wearing a size 36 pant to a size 31, was buying small-sized shirts, and fit into clothes I hadn't been able to for years. I felt great. I was getting compliments on my weight loss left and right, danced with my shirt off, and confidently climbed into hot tubs with men who were built, sexy, and skinny.

So what happened? I got TOO comfortable. I began eating anything and everything in site... again. I thought to myself "I'm skinny. I can eat this and get away with it.", "I've worked hard to lose the weight I have... I deserve this bag of lays.", "It's only a slice of birthday cake.", "It's Thanksgiving dinner at my parents... how can I skip out on ALL THIS!?". Eventually, it became: "It's only a plate of pancakes, side of french toast with hash browns, french fries and onion rings with chicken fried steak and cheesecake." Before I knew it, I was pushing 180 pounds, and quickly approaching the poundage I had so diligently worked to burn off.

Between that time and now, I fell back on and off the low-carb eating gig. Losing and gaining, losing and gaining, getting frustrated and costing myself more and more confidence each and every time. The most success I had during that time was when I hired a personal trainer who helped me achieve this:

It is this picture that inspires me from this day on. I achieved this weight loss and muscle gain working out two times a week with a personal trainer and cutting out useless carbohydrates. Two times a week, I know, is not much... but I'll touch base on that subject a little later. There's lots to cover on this blog, and trust me readers, it'll all be coming your way shortly!

This blog is for the bitch co-worker who said "Oh... Wes. You look good with a little chub!" and the asshole who spent all night hitting on me and then sending me home after getting my clothes off.

Here's to the beginning.